Finding Myself In The Real World

Chapter 1

*Above picture is Xander*

Xander knew he was different than everyone else the minute he stepped into grade 1 and realized he didn't like chasing after girls the way his best friend Brody did. He didn't know what was actually different about himself until he learned the word. Gay. Xander had a friend named Julian in grade 3, whose parents were gay. This meant that Julian's parents were both men. Xander hadn't really understood how that worked because... Well... They were both guys. His mom had explained that it doesn't matter who you're with; looks, background, gender, as long as you loved them and they loved you, nothing else mattered. Xander finally admitted to himself he was gay in grade 7 when he realized he had feelings for a boy in his class named Chase. Chase was cute, he had brown hair and deep green eyes. Chase had a thing with Jessica. Jessica was a very beautiful, mature looking girl for being in grade 7. She wore whatever she wanted to school and she put her face on every morning. Xander didn't think he had ever seen her without makeup. Xander came out to his family before he graduated grade 8. Just to his mom, dad, and little brother.

Xander was pacing upstairs in his room. There was one week until graduation and Xander needed to get this off his shoulders before graduating from high school. He gripped his hair tightly in his hands.
"Come on... You can do this, it's two words. Why are you getting so freaked out?" He whispered to himself. Xander was freaking out, he had watched videos online of how people had come out to their parents, had watched parents embrace their children with open arms, had watched fathers hit their son or daughter, had watched mothers turn away. Xander didn't know what he would do if that happened to him.
"SHIT!" He screamed into his pillow. Why was he so scared? It's two words, I'm gay. Not that hard. He could do this. Xander opened his door five times and closed it four times. He stood in the open entrance and listened to the bustling downstairs. His mother was laughing at something his younger brother, Ben, had said. He knew dad was listening to the news in the living room. Xander managed to make it to the top of the stairs before starting to hyperventilate. "It's okay. They'll be fine with it..." He whispered to himself. Xander made it to the bottom of the stairs before his mother called to him.
"Xander? Are you out there?" She called turning around. She gasped as she took in the sight of his messy hair, wet eyes, and heavy breathing.
"Baby? What's wrong?" She asked standing up. He held his hand out to stop her from moving and she sat down. His father turned confused as well, muted the TV and looked at him expectantly. Xander moved to sit in the empty armchair closest to the door. He needed to be prepared to run if he had to, he had a wallet with $250 in his pocket, as if that would get him anywhere he laughed mournfully to himself.
"Xander?" His mother tried again, smiling gently at him. He took a deep breath.
"Mom... Dad... Ben..." Xander knew his voice was wavering. What if they hate me? What if they kick me out? Where will I go? What will I do?
"Xander, spit it out, boy." His father demanded. He wanted to get back to his news, where the hot, blonde news anchor was speaking.
"I have something very important to tell you. I need you to pay attention..." Xander began. His mother knew something important was about to be said, Ben had been playing on his Nintendo DS the entire time, but of course, her husband just had to butt in.
"Please don't tell me you got someone pregnant!"
"What!? NO! Oh my- DAD! What? NO! I don't even have a girlfriend..." Xander implored. Xander's mother shushed her husband and then turned back to Xander, nodding encouragingly.
"Go on Xander..." She urged in her gentle, motherly voice. Immediately Xander's eyes grew wet with tears.
"Mom... Dad... Ben... I'm..." Xander paused again as his dad sighed. A tear fell and then he was crying, he couldn't stop and he was so embarrassed. He felt warm hands surround him, his mothers soft hair tickled his nose and he opened his eyes. She was kneeling in front of him, cradling his head to her neck.
"Baby... Sweetie... It's okay. No matter what, I will always love you. No matter what!" She stated. Xander wiped his tears and grabbed his mothers hands from around him. His father, finally, was looking at his upset boy.
"Mom... Dad... I'm... I'm... Gay."