More Than a Lifetime #7: Deliberation

Chapter 3: Promises

Dani sat frozen at the computer monitor absently watching the major event of the day unfold. She didn't know why she was torturing herself like this, because that's what it was - torture. There was no reason she had to sit there and watch the man she loved marry another woman. But, all the same, she couldn't look away. It was all very much like watching an explosion. Dani didn't want to look, but she couldn't find it in herself to look away. She couldn't manage to reach up and deactivate the computer terminal.

So, Rowat did it for her. When he did, Dani continued to stare at the dark screen blankly, until he spoke.

"There's no need for you to watch that," he said.

Dani looked down at her hands, folded in her lap. "I know." She looked up at Rowat. "But I just had to see it for myself, to make sure it was real."

Rowat wasn't surprised by the tears that lingered in her eyes and on her face. He'd expected them. What he hadn't expected were Dukat's actions, which had caused Dani's tears in the first place. How could a man he'd admired for years have done something like this? He'd chosen political gain over the woman he supposedly loved.

Rowat scolded himself for having such thoughts. He couldn't be a hypocrite, which is what he was doing. He was guilty of exactly the crime for which he was criticizing Dukat. Yes, he'd chosen his work over his own wife. He could count on his fingers the number of nights he'd spent with his wife in the past year. Why? He'd been with another woman instead, the woman sitting in front of him now.

"I still don't know what to think," Dani said, standing. "After all the time we've spent together ... He looked so happy, just now."

"He's a good actor," Rowat said, immediately wishing that he hadn't. The comment had been meant to comfort, but he realized just how bad it had sounded as soon as the words had left his mouth. "That didn't come out as I intended," Rowat said, answering the uncertain look Dani had given him. "I didn't mean with you."

Dani looked away from him and walked sullenly to the bed. "Do you know where they're honeymooning?" she asked.

Rowat didn't want to tell her, but she would find out sooner or later from the news vids. It would probably be better if she found out from him than from the press. "Risa," he told her.

Dani nodded. "Oh," she said meekly.

Rowat studied her. She looked as if she would break at any moment, and he wasn't sure if there were anything he could do to prevent it. Maybe letting her get it all out would be best anyway. As far as he knew, she hadn't really had any emotional releases since she'd initially learned of the news of the wedding. She'd been remarkably calm throughout the whole ordeal. For the sake of her emotional health, an outburst was probably warranted.

"Rowat?" Dani said.

"Yes?"

"I want to be alone right now," Dani told him.

Rowat didn't want to leave her alone out of fear of what she might do to herself. He hoped she wasn't one to take drastic measures, such as ending her own life, but in her present state, he just couldn't be sure. Nevertheless, he acquiesced to her request for privacy. Nodding, he left her to the room and to herself. Once the door was closed solidly, he heard the muffled sound of soft sobbing, and he decided he wouldn't stray too far from her bedroom until he knew with certainty that she would be alright.

Xxx

Dukat downed another glass of kanar in a few large gulps. He'd never been one to guzzle kanar as if it were the common beer, but tonight was different. His usual way was to savor the experience, the flavor, the sensation of the beverage. Tonight, though, his only aim was inebriation. He was nearly finished with the bottle. He looked at it and, seeing enough for just half a glass, decided that he was drunk enough to go through with this.