If you were me

Regrets

Shit. Shit. Shit. What was he thinking?! He kissed a boy and oh no not just any boy Phil freaking Lester. Clap clap Dan, well done.  You just destroyed your relationship with your only other friend then Chris, and possibly your reputation. What a fucking achievement. Dan lay back on his bed and sighed, what had that stupid little mistake cost him? Would Phil hate him? Would he tell everyone and would Dan fall down the social scale like twatting snakes and ladders? Dan buried his head in his pillow, why did he have to mess everything up?

What had just happened? Phil sat down on his bed and gawped at the door that Dan had swung open and escaped from like a bird released from its cage. Had Dan kissed him? Had Phil kissed back? Did Phil really kiss Dan and he was just too confused and caught up to know he was doing it? Phil buried his head in his pillow, why did he have to mess everything up?

Dan came to the conclusion that the only way to get past this was by ignoring and avoiding Phil, he would simply never to speak to him again. This was easier said than done, especially as he had English next period and he had no choice whether to see him or not. Phil had sent him five texts over the past week:

From: Phil

Hey

From: Phil

r u ignoring me?

From: Phil

Please stop

From: Phil

Daaann r u there

From: Phil

I'm sorry

Dan did feel guilty but it was for the best; they came from different worlds and it would be dangerous to combine them.

Dan sunk into his seat as Phil walked in the room. Phil didn't make eye contact, he just came in and quickly sat down, not even taking a glance in Dan's direction. Dan frowned a bit but looked away, trying to distract himself with the textbook in front of him.

 As the lesson wore on Dan found it harder and harder to not think of Phil and eventually the gave up, looking over at him. His straight black hair looked messier than usual and his tie wasn't on straight and Dan couldn't help but smile a little. He thought about when he started crying at the end of Moulin rouge and smiled even more, this boy was becoming more and more important to Dan every time he saw him yet he was forbidden from talking to him. It had only been a week but Dan missed Phil. He wanted to say sorry for kissing him even though it was all he wanted to do even though he wouldn't admit it and he wanted to be able to talk to someone other than Chris and most of all he wanted to know Phil didn't hate him because Dan would rather never kiss him again than spend the rest of his life unsure of how Phil felt. He had to talk to him.

As soon as Dan left the classroom, he whipped out his phone and typed a quick text to Phil.

To: Phil

Can we talk? Is there anywhere we can meet?

From: Phil

I know a place meet me at the top of the back staircase

Phil was confused by the sudden text from Dan and even more confused that he was taking him to the place only he knew about. His place. A few minutes later Dan appeared and they walked in silence up another staircase and into the dusty store cupboard that always remained unlocked. There was a window stretching across one wall with a view of the woods outside of the school. The window was thin and drafty and the room was therefore cold but Phil liked it. It had the same feeling of being outside in the woods but he felt more protected. Dan walked over to the window and smiled and Phil followed him, crossing his arms. "What do you want Dan?" Phil asked, not bothering to hide the slight annoyance in his voice. Dan had been ignoring him for a week and he was sick of it. Dan sighed. "I -I needed to talk to you." Dan stuttered, looking at the ground guiltily. "I needed to talk to you too, but you ignored me Dan, how do you think that felt? You can't just kiss me then run away!" Phil said, rising his voice. "I'm sorry Phil, ok? I didn't know how to handle it! I was scared!" Dan said, looking up and meeting Phil's angry eyes. "What are you sorry for, Dan? Kissing me or running away?" Phil replied, tears forming. His voice was quiet now, almost a whisper like he was scared of the answer. "For running away." Dan said. He didn't really know why he said it but he was so sick of lying. Lying to his family, school and lying to Chris. He was sick of pretending to be ok and he was sick of pretending to be a person he's not. He didn't want to lie to Phil so he didn't, he told the truth. Tears were running down both their faces now but Phil was smiling, he walked over to Dan without a word. Phil kissed him gently on the lips and wrapped his arms around his waist. Phil understood, he understood from the moment Dan helped him. He wasn't the same as them.  He was just doing what he had to do but, like Dan had said when they first met, where would he be if he didn't? More tears spilled from Dan's eyes as he rested his head on Phil's shoulder. Phil didn't need to say anything, Dan knew Phil understood and he knew he didn't have to pretend and, at this moment, that's all he needed.

sorry this is so late but here's a happy ending to the chapter, next part should be out in th next few days xx (remember to vote/comment)