Don't Remind Me

Chapter 8: The Paradox

Then:

"We have it on the best authority (read:Shady smoker's corner gossip) that The General is calling a Disciplinary Hearing for the violators of one of IBSA's cardinal rules 'Thou shalt not beat the crap out of a birthday boy, and pretend to kidnap him'... Certain buzzkills just HAD to take him to the nurse's office..."--Nitty Gritty (Issue 656, October '14)

"So did you see him again?" Maria grins at me, excited about hearing my school stories. Or more likely, excited about tales of Azaan. Ever since I mentioned him in front of her, she has been bugging me for details. The poor jerk has no idea that he is a source of entertainment for Maria and Ruby. 

"Yesterday, he was wearing these ridiculous half-rimmed Ray-Ban shades." I giggle, fumbling with the hand gestures, "He walks right up to Pareeshae, Daniyal and me-we were in the library- and starts chatting with us. We were like, dude, why the hell you wearing shades indoors? and he was like, 'I'm wearing them, so I don't fall in love!' HAHAHAHA!"

Maria laughs with me, while Ruby shakes her head exasperatedly. It feels funny, because I didn't even let out a single giggle in front of him, and here I am, peeing myself with hilarity. Chum Chum lets out a warning yowl, to get me to shut up. He hates my voice. Go figure.

"Tell me more!" Maria bugs me. I comply with more tales of his indiscretions. And there are plenty of stories. Most of them are stuff that I came to know through the usual University grapevine (AKA Ms. Pareeshae), while others are things I actually witnessed. 

I tell her about the girl who slapped him in front of the Cafeteria, and then promptly burst into tears. He ended up offering her a tissue, and she ended up hugging him. They were lucky The General didn't see them hug, he reportedly suspended two girls, when he saw them 'hug for longer than 30 seconds'. IBSA has a pretty strict policy on PDA.

As far as the popular story went, he was single; which made sense because he was rarely seen with one person all the time. 

'Tell Ruby about the Birthday incident!' Maria prods me, ignoring her favorite TV show blaring from the rec-room TV. 

"Oh, my gosh, Ruby! men are such violent pigs!" I groaned at the memory of a recent bit of gossip. One of the most horrifying discoveries of my freshman year, was the University's unwritten birthday tradition for boys. If they were idiotic enough to keep their profile info visible on facebook, the guys have to go through a barbaric ceremony, which involves:

A) tree trunks/flagpoles, 

B) a howling crowd of idiots, and 

C) a helpless birthday boy. 

If he were lucky, they'd leave him after a couple of-er-hits, and a decent egging...but if he were popular like Azaan, the celebrations would continue for weeks, on and off-campus.

"...It was horrifying! he was close to tears when they finally let him go!" I giggled.

"What are you girls laughing about?" Mama's voice sounds from the Basement door. She likes to "check up" on us as soon as she steps home after work.

"Nothing." I mutter moodily, my smile fading. Maria cheerfully replies though, "Laylee made some new friends!"

"Oh really? That's good darling. That's excellent." Mama leans over to kiss my cheek. "I told you IBSA is an excellent experience...Do bring your friends over sometime. I want to meet them."

I shrug my shoulders, in non-commitment. I doubt she will approve of my hodgepodge collection of acquaintances. 

....................