Don't Remind Me

Chapter 12: The Awkward Lunch

"The General is imposing Martial Law during the course of the annual charity concert 2014, it seems. Tickets will be triple-checked for fraud, and attendees will be required to pass a CAPTCHA test in order to prove whether they are 'Human, robot, or alien.' This causes trouble for resident aliens of IBSA...*Cough* Tania Husayn *Cough*...." (Nitty Gritty Issue no: 769, December '14)

Convincing the gang to come over for lunch was easy.  Prepping them, (as well as an overexcited Maria, and Ruby) was harder. I subtly told them about Maria, so they wouldn't freak out when they see me conversing in fluent "Sign" language. For the most part, my sister is used to the curious glances, and mixed reactions from strangers, but I still hate creating awkward situations for her.

Mama dressed carefully for today, her high-neck, dark green wool dress striking against her auburn hair. Maria looked incredible in her long-sleeved white, silk crop-top and floral skirt. I was also, unusually fancy in Maria's over-sized digital print shirt, and black tights. We never entertain guests shabbily at Hayat House-One of Mama's cardinal rules. 

"Do your friends prefer oriental? or Italian?" Ruby had probed me about the lunch menu ideas. 

I thought about the time Azaan cheerfully ate the contents of a teabag as a dare. 

"They'll eat anything you whip up Ruby. For real." I informed her.

'I can't wait to meet him!' Maria told me the tenth time in twenty four hours. 

'I'm glad one of us is excited about this.' I grumbled. Maria had no idea the potential for embarrassment that Mama posed with every derogatory question, and moody comment. 

When none of the gang had arrived by 1 pm, Mama started showing signs of irritated impatience. Her tongue clucks, foot tapping, and constant phone calls to her producer made it clear that her precious free minutes were being wasted on my account. 

I texted Pareeshae.

Me: Where r u guy?? :/ 

P-shay: Daniyal slammed his car into a bike. We're sweet talking our way out of this. Wait. 

Me: SHIT! :O want me to send backup? Khan has a big gun somewhere. Probably....

P-shay:  I'll let you know. I'm with Azaan atm. He is nauseated.

I panicked and called her then. She couldn't hear me well, but managed to yell the story out, while pep-talking Azaan out of his sickness.

"He is EXTREMELY sensitive to blood yaar (mate)! The bike guy Daniyal hit, got this half-inch gash on his forehead, so we stopped Azaan's car to help them out...The princess wanted to help clean the guy up, but then he started gagging, and swooning like a lady." Shay pauses to speak to what seems like Faris, I can hear the buzz of Motor-bikes, Rickshaws and Buses in the background. A mix of Karachi's soundtrack. "We're on our way, Layla. Don't worry!"

I informed our household of the revised plans, which earned appropriate gasps from the ladies, and raised-eye-brows (He gags on blood?) Half-an-hour late, I breathed a sigh of relief when the doorbell finally rang. 

Introductions were awkward, with Maria nodding and grinning as I pointed out everyone. Mama smiled and asked about the accident, and whether she could help out with the Police report. I saw the gang gaping around our sprawling mansion, and surrounding gardens. They politely commented on the beauty of our foyer. Our house is a remodeled version of an old-red-brick home, with a mix of modern and ethnic Mughal architecture, I suppose I don't often realize how pretty our entrance is, with its wrought-iron candle-stick chandelier, and a brick-hewn fountain.