Jim Moriarty's Daughter

Grocery Shopping

Jen and Jim sat in the front seat of Jim's sports car, on their way to the nearest grocery store. Both of them looked like messes- Jim was in faded jeans and hadn't bothered with hair gel or shaving, and Jen was in pajama pants with her long, black hair scraped back into a careless bun and no makeup. Even worse, Jen was in one of her violent Moriarty moods where she wanted to stab someone repeatedly for looking at her the wrong way because Jim had woken her up three hours early.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive-" Jim sang along with the radio until Jen switched it off. Jim glared at her- he was in a bad mood, too, Seb had woken him up early because it was Jim's turn to do the shopping.

"Why'd you turn it off?"

"Headache, annoyed, want to slice your throat open and rip your vocal chords out so I never have to hear that again, want to push you off the edge of St. Bart's roof, want to slip poison into your coffee, want to kill you violently," Jen snapped back, glaring right back at him.

"Not nice to give death threats to your own father."

"Not a threat, simply stating my wishes. Besides, that song is bloody awful, Dad. Why did you make me come again?"

"I didn't want to go alone, and Sebby refused to come. So, I thought, 'Jim, when is the last time you and Jen went grocery shopping together?' and I couldn't remember, and that is just unacceptable. We haven't done anything simple together for a long time."

"There's a reason we stopped going grocery shopping together. D'you remember last time?" Jim shook his head with mock exasperation.

"No, Jenny, I just told you I can't remember the last time we went grocery shopping together." He did, he just loved the way Jenny would burst into giggles when she told the story to him again.

"You got into a row with a chip-and-pin machine, shot it, nearly got arrested, and then stole a jar of olives. You don't even like olives. Sebby doesn't like olives. I don't like olives. Why did you steal a jar of olives?"

"Because I wanted to. Do I need a reason?"

"I didn't think mindless crime was your thing, Dad. Don't steal anymore olives today, please. I don't feel like running in flip flops." Jim sighed and rolled his eyes at his daughter.

"I'm the king of crime. I don't do mindless crime, you bet me I couldn't." He switched the radio back on and started singing along to some old disco song that made Jen want to scream. She reached over and switched it to a Taylor Swift song and started singing along to Blank Space.

"Jen, turn that crap off. I can't stand that song." She started singing louder, until her voice cracked and she regretfully turned the radio off. Jim pulled into the parking lot and they both begrudgingly climbed out of the car. They walked into the store that was full of screaming children and exasperated parents and grabbed a shopping cart.

"Jen, go grab some cereal from aisle ten," Jim said, consulting the list Sebby had scrawled last night. She nodded and trudged off to aisle ten.

"Excuse me," she said tiredly to the boy standing in front of the cereal. He turned around and she deduced he was thirteen, single, and desperate for a girlfriend, judging by the way he looked at her.

"Oh, sorry," he replied, but still didn't move. She rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me, but you're still standing in front of the cereal," she said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

"I'm Chad," he told her, ignoring all of the signs she was sending that pointed to one thing: leave me alone.

"And I'm trying to get cereal, not get flirted at." He laughed like she was joking with him.

"You're funny. So what's your name?" She sighed tiredly. She hated ordinary people, so determined, yet so annoying.

"If I tell you my name, can I get my cereal?" He nodded and she grinned wickedly.

"Jen Moriarty." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Your last name sounds familiar. Do I know your family?"

"Pretty much everyone in England knows my dad. Sometimes not by name, though."

"How?"

"He put his face on literally every screen in England to attract the attention of Sherlock Holmes." He furrowed his eyebrows even further and she could almost smell the smoke from his brain overworking.

"What's his name?"

"Jim Moriarty. He was all over the papers a few years ago. Broke into the Tower of London, Pentonville Prison, and the Bank of England at the same time and caused a national panic. You might have heard of him?" His eyes widened comically.

"But... He's a murderer."

"I know."

"And you're his daughter?"

"Yes. He taught me everything he knows. Can you please move so I can get my cereal now?" Chad returned his eyes to their normal size and smiled.

"I like bad girls."

"And I have a boyfriend."

"Really? I doubt that." She started to get seriously angry.

"What makes you say that, Chad?" She spit his name out.

"What's his name?"

"Hamish Watson-Holmes."

"Seriously? That dork? I go to school with him." She pinned him up against the shelves and balled his shirt up in her fist. He widened his eyes again.

"What did you call my boyfriend," she growled.

"Nothing! I'm sorry! Let me go!" She punched his jaw and let him go.

"You're crazy, just like your dad. He's a fucking psychopath!"

"He is. He reminds me of it nearly daily. I suggest you never talk to me again, seeing as my dad is a psycho and my boyfriend's dads both have very good shots when it comes to guns. Not to mention the hundreds of snipers I'm best buddies with." He froze in place and she motioned towards the end of the aisle.

"Go now." He still didn't move. Jim walked up behind Jen.

"Hey, Daddy."

"Hey, Jen. What's taking so long to get the cereal?"

"Chad decided he was going to flirt with me."

"You have a boyfriend."

"And he called Haym a dork." Jim grimaced.

"Bet that didn't end well."

"No, it didn't. And he's got the nerve to hang around even after I mentioned how good of a shot Sebby is." Jim leaned dangerously close to Chad.

"Go. Now. Stop harassing my daughter. I'm a very calm man most of the time, but when my daughter gets involved, I lose my temper easily. Leave, pretend you never saw me. No one will believe you anyway." Chad nodded and ran. Jen sighed and grabbed the cereal.

"Can you believe the nerve of him? He said you were a murderer."

"That I am, Jenny."

"Yeah, and then d'you know what he told me?"

"What?"

"He likes bad girls. Can you believe him?" Jim busted out laughing and Jen stared, unimpressed.

"Very mature, father dear. I'm calling Seb."

"Why?"

"To get him to finish shopping, I'm having a hard time not falling asleep," she murmured as she sat down on one of the benches near the doorway. Jim sat next to her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. In no time, the both of them were fast asleep. That was how Sebastian found them, hours later, when he came running to make sure they weren't dead. He snapped a picture and sent it to both of their phones, cherishing how peaceful they both looked and knowing there were very few moments like this.