Suicidal Teenage Dream(Trilogy)

Chapter 4 :)

you know all the negative things you say to a person hurts even though its a joke? :)

We may laugh it off, but we think about it later on :)

it hurts :)

it hurts:)

every negative thing i think about, every thing appointed to me:)

how ugly i am:)

how useless:)

i an worthless:)

how annoying:)

how fat i am:)

I need to go on a diet:)

i need plastic surgery:)

i need to wear more makeup:)

i need to wear less:)

My clothes don't match:)

my hair is a mess:)

i look stupid:)

my physical appearance is bothersome:)

i can only wear that if I'm skinny:)

i can't do anything right:)

i always make mistakes:)

im stupid:)

i eat too much:)

i eat too little:)

im a waste of space:)

i shouldn't marry:)

people feel bad for whoever is going to marry me:)

im not respected:)

you don't value our friendship as much as you value your other ones:)

im a bitch:)

im a slut for having a lot of guy friends:)

im a whore because i supposedly like and fuck all of them:)

Im too social:)

i don't talk that much:)

i know nothing:)

i try to stay strong:)

i act tuff:)

but there will be a breaking point:)

I'm always happy:)

but I'm not:)

when i try to show my feelings its a 'phase':)

i don't know how i stayed this long:)

I've been used:)

I'm always there for everyone:)

but is there anyone there for me?:)

it doesn't feel like it:)

you talk to me because no one else listens:)

you tell me your problems because I'm the only one that actually listens:)

I'm left behind:)

no one knows whats behind this happiness:)

locked in my heart:)

locked in my head:)

you're lucky:)

you don't have to feel and go through what i do:)

I've thought about it before:)

I've cut before:)

i almost wanted to do it :)

i almost did:)

but something in me stupid myself:)

i thought that maybe just maybe you would come around:)

but I'm a waste of your time:)

because its a phase:)

im stupid because i don't know what to do with my life:)

all these things that everyone spent on me is going to go to waste:)

because i waste peoples money:)

but its okay:)

I've made a use of some of it:)

at least it won't all go to waste:)

its okay:)

I'm going to be gone soon:)

i hope you enjoyed life:)

ill be okay:)

im gonna be up there now:)

don't forget about me okay?:)

ill remember you:)

and everyone else who's been there:)

to some of the people that actually listened to me when you could:)

i wish i could've given you that time back:)

but I'm sorry i wasted it:)

i don't need to tell another worthless story of my life to anyone else:)

i love you all:)

no matter what horrible things you said about me:)

its okay:)

I've forgiven you:)

just remember me as the one that listened to you:)

remember me as the one that you 'cared' about:)

I'm sorry to leave so suddenly:)

dont cry:)

im alright:)

i can be happy now:)

im problem free now:)

my little soul can finally be free:)

it looks so dark though...:(

i remember when it used to be so light:)

those were good times:)

but its okay:)

hopefully in my next life time it can be light again:)

i don't have to live up to social standards anymore!:)

aren't you happy for me?!:)

i can finally fly:)

fly back home:)

Well it was nice talking to you one last time:)

i hope you're happy:)

goodbye:)