Love at First Fight - A Gallagher Girls Story

Chapter Twelve

PROS AND CONS TO ALICE ANDERSON'S PRE-DATE ASSISTANCE

(A list by Morgan Goode)

PRO: She's got a lot of practice with pre-date procedures

CON: She will probably dig through your closet just to find the shortest skirt you own.

PRO: She's got plenty to say, which will help keep your mind off of the constant buzzing in your stomach.

CON: Somewhere in the midst of all that talking, she will try and give you the Talk.

PRO: You might need the Talk?

CON: You may begin to fell nauseated as you debate, for the first time in your life, whether or not you actually need to hear the Talk.

PRO: If her career in the clandestine services doesn't work out, Alice will work wonders as a hair stylist.

CON: She pulls really hard on the brush.

PRO: There's no one like an Anderson when it comes to assuring that your outfit is bulletproof, fireproof, and knife-resistant.

CON: Even though you are covered in the best armor that Anderson Industries has to offer, this night might just kill you anyways.

"You look beautiful," he said, but then Alice elbowed him in the gut.

"Well," I bit. "If the blind guy thinks I look okay..."

Alice shot a look at Finn, a white-hot glare that must've burned, because he shriveled against it. "You smell nice," he offered. "So you've got that going for ya."

Smell? I smelled nice? What did that even mean? I hadn't even known that smell was a factor, but then here comes Finn O'Reilly, enlightening me to the finer points of dating. Of course smell was a factor. People got close on dates. Really close. The held hands and they hugged and they—"Nope!" I said, throwing my hands in the air. "Nope. No. I'm not doing this. I am not doing this. I have to smell nice?"

"Well," Alice said, giving me a once-over. She was completely unconcerned with my panic, just checking to make sure that I looked good and that he work here was done. "The way I see it, every time you two are together, you're hot and sweaty and gross, so I guess when it comes to Collins, you don't have to smell nice." She smiled. "But you do."

No, no, no, no, no. "What if he hates it? What if he hates the way I smell."

"Then he's an idiot," she replied, then she lit up, remembering something. "Oh! That reminds me."

She dashed over to our dresser, shuffling bottles and books until she found what she was looking for. "I have this ring—"

"A ring?" I said. "Alice, I'm not taking a ring on the first date."

"Calm down," she said, making her way back to me. "I'm not telling you to propose to the guy. It's a knockout ring."

"A what?"

"A knockout ring," she said again, sliding it onto my right hand. "It's designed to detect when your hand is in a fist. Once it's activated, it sends out an electric shock, so if you want to punch someone, it's a guaranteed knockout, giving you enough time to run away."

For the record, my punches are pretty much always a guaranteed knockout, but I didn't say so. "Another prototype from your parents?" I asked instead.

She shook her head. "My design," she said, and there was something alarmingly serious about her. This wasn't the best friend helping with a date. This was the girl who had seen everything go wrong, and wouldn't stand idly by as the people she loved got hurt. "Just in case he gets any funny ideas."