ShadowRay

Preface (part one)

                  

The whole point to darkness is to be able to hide. Without darkness, you can't hide the blemishes. You can't escape prying eyes. You can't play Ghost in the Graveyard.

Darkness gets a bad reputation. Sometimes bad things happen in the dark but, that doesn't mean everything is bad. There are good things that happen in the dark too.

The light has a way of being considered good; but what about the light that stings your eyes or burns your skin? People forget that. I'm not saying light is bad. I mean it does have a lot of merits. But people don't want to admit that the darkness has some too.

Even the Bible starts out in complete darkness. Was that wrong or evil? Why should we be so afraid of it then? Just because we can't see in it, doesn't mean we can't find our way. I am not saying it was easy for me. It was not. I stumbled through it until I found my footing. But once I did, I found all the benefits of it. I found things that I didn't realize were there, once my eyes adjusted to it. Does that make me evil then? I think it makes me balanced.

After all, aren't we looking for the balance; the way to find peace and strength? It didn't happen for a long time. It certainly looks bad to those who don't understand me. But I don't care. For the first time in my life, I feel free. I can breathe and I know who I am.

I didn't.

I was all alone in the light. I thought I knew who I was. I thought I knew everything. Then the day came that darkness began to challenge all of it. The questions would come. And maybe they were a bit deceptive. But they did lead me to the truth eventually.

I remember being in a deep thought and I heard this knocking at the door. They must have been knocking for quite a while.  I remember hearing it like I was in a dream at first. I was cooking some soup on the stove and burning it. I moved the pan and turned off the stove when I realized what I was doing. It smelled terrible.

The other problem when someone knocks on my door is that I have to walk down the steps to get to there. I live on the second floor and it's a pain. I don't always bother but since I was 'out of it', I mindlessly made the trip downstairs.

Then, when I saw two people standing there with books in their hands, I almost turned around. But one of them saw me. So reluctantly; I opened the door.

"Good evening miss," the tall man said. He was wearing a dress shirt and black slacks that looked like they were second hand. His shoes were scuffed up and worn out. They reminded me of my dad's when I was growing up. Instantly I decided I would hear him out. The woman with him wore a long jean skirt and a pretty but plain blouse. They seemed to be very kind and not what I was expecting.

"I am so sorry to bother you tonight but, if you have a few moments, I think it may be worth sparing them for us."

They were both smiling so genuinely that it took me quite by surprise. I found myself inviting them inside. I never did that. What was wrong with me? Somehow, even though they were so strange, I trusted them.

I did a half trip on one of the steps.

"Are you alright dear?" the kind lady asked.

"Yes I'm okay. Just missed the step I guess."

"We all miss them sometimes," she replied, "at my age; Lord knows I've missed quite a few."

I was uncomfortable once I realized two strangers were coming into my house. I knew they were not judging me but I was worried they would for some reason. I showed them to my rather small living room and asked them to sit down.