Mental- n.h

Chapter 6

* piper's pov*

I groaned as I rolled over once again, there was little light that was brightening up the dark cold room coming from the window showing it was early in the morning. I couldn't sleep, my mind was to concentrated on my thoughts. I was also uncomfortable and really cold, the old sheet they call a blanket wasn't giving me any warmth and the bed was really hard, I'd be more comfortable sleeping on the floor. I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep as a loud bang went off and all our cell doors opened.

"Ugh!" I groaned turning back away facing the wall and closing my eyes.

"RA!" a male yelled behind me as they started shaking my body. I screamed, thinking it was some crazy person, my leg flew up out of my sheet and kicked him in the balls.

"Fuck!" A British male yelled and then thumped on the ground . I quickly whipped around and saw Harry on the ground, holding his crotch.

"Oh my god Harry I'm so sorry!" I gasp as he slowly gets up.

"Yeah yeah it's alright" he mumbled and I just stare at him.

"Why are you in my room anyways?" I ask him when he's standing.

"Just wanted to come and see how you're doing" he shrugged and I fake smiled.

Today wasn't the day that I wanted company. I felt like sitting alone today and doing nothing, maybe trying a way to recut my wrists or something. Right now that's what I needed, to feel that pain but I can't. Also I can't stop thinking about Niall and if he likes me. I know it was just one kiss but that kiss meant so much more to me and he hasn't spoken to me since which is worrying me, maybe he just doesn't like me. Which really hurts me. I probably feel like this cause I haven't had my pills yet.

"Yeah I'm good, I'm just going to rest in here for a while" I sighed fixing my hair that was everywhere from my restless sleep.

"Okay but you're definitely coming in after duty" he smiled sweetly.

"Yeah sure" I nodded and he awkwardly turned around and left my room.

I sighed and calmly sat down on my bed. I looked calm but really I wanted to scream, to pull my hair out of my head, to cry until there were no tears left, to die. I lied back onto my bed and pulled the blankets over my head.

Why do I have to be here? Why couldn't I have two loving parents with some siblings that loved me, with a beautiful house that's not big but perfect for us, maybe even a dog and cat to wonder away the house and a beautiful backyard with bright green grass and a nice sized pool to swim in as the sun shines down on us making our hair become brighter and our skin becomes darker and our smiles become wider as we splash around and laugh as a big happy family. Why can't I have that? What did I do to not deserve that?

I breathe out heavily as roll over and my eye lids start to grow heavy and soon enough I'm asleep and dreaming.

"Piper, come join" I hear my mum yell out to me from outside. I looked at myself confused in the mirror, I was myself when I was five years old. I walk towards the back door and as I get closer I can hear the laughs coming from my brother, the giggles coming from my mum, the chuckles from my dad, the birds chirping to their new born babies, the barks from our dog who was joining in with the game of soccer that my family was playing, the sun beaming onto them as the trees lightly swayed with the wind. I giggled as I ran towards my dream family. Dream, that's all this was. This wasn't some flashback, it was a dream. This never even happened and never will. Everything started getting dark, the beautiful sky got covered with a massive black cloud as the trees lost there leafs and the house fell to a crumbling mess behind me. I watched the flames of the fire blow further around the crumbles that once was a beautiful house. I heard a scream and when I turned around I saw parents slowly disappearing. I screamed running towards them but they were gone before I reached them. I turned to my brother, tears running down my cheek as he looks worried but then a gun goes off and he's on the floor, I started yelling at him and then I fall to the ground screaming.

"PIPER!" Someone shook me awake. My eyes wide, I quickly sit up calming my breathing as I wipe the sweat off my forehead.

"Are you okay?" Louis asked taking a seat on the side of my now wet bed.

"N-no" I cried as he pulled me into a hug and held me tight as to say ' you're not alone'.

We sat there for a while, probably an hour and then I was finally calm Lou and I went to the group room that Harry said to be at.

"Here are your pills" he said handing them too me and a plastic cup of water.

"Thanks" I said grabbing them from him and chucking them in my mouth.

"Are you sure you want to?" Louis asked holding onto my hand as we walked down the quiet hallway towards the group room. I nod softy as he lets go of my hand and opens the heavy door to the group room. We shuffle towards Harry who was sitting on the couch looking bored as fuck.

"Hey Harry" Lou said taking a seat next to him.

"Oh hey guys" he smiled snapping out of his bored state.

"How are you feeling Piper?" He asks me and I nod softly.

"Yeah I'm alright" I shrug.

"Where's Niall? Off with his 'lady friends' again?" Louis smirked knowing lady friends meant the secret place where Niall rans off to. Harry chuckled, shaking his head.

"Nar, he's just over there" Harry said turning around and pointing his finger to Niall who had a female on his lap as they were snogging.

"What a snog" Louis laughed as we watched Niall. I gasped feeling the tears threaten to spill. I quickly turn away and sit down next to louis.

"What a hottie, I'd so go for her" Harry chuckled and lou laughed along. I felt the tears run down my cheek as I quickly got up I looked at Niall he had his eyes on me as the blonde girl kissed his neck. He didn't look interested in her as he watched me. I looked away and quickly rushed towards the deck. I took a seat and calmed my breathing, putting my head in my hands.

I should of known Niall just kissed me for the heck of it. Who would want to be with a messed up girl who wants to kill themselves? No one. That's the answer.

These stupid pills weren't working, they were shit. I'm definitely getting this shock therapy.