The Perks Of Our Minds

Positive

I sat there for another hour, crying. Whenever I closed my eyes I could see her pale dead body standing infront of me. I glanced over to the clock and it read 5:03 great. I thought to myself another sleepless night of antagonising misery. I decided that since it was the last day that I had my hair on my head that I wanted to look good for myself. In the past I hadn't really cared about my appearance but now I wanted to look presentable and feel nice for myself. I took a 45 minute long shower that felt great. The hot water was really relaxing. I got out and wrapped a fluffy towel round my body and another in a turbin style on top of my head. I headed out of my en suite bathroom to my bedroom, and locked the door since I was getting changed. I walked over to my chest of drawers and pulled out a bra some pants and some socks then to the drawer bellow I pulled out a polo shirt and some high waisted black jeans, my favourite. I then proceeded to put on the underwear and polo shirt then pulled up my jeans while tucking in the polo shirt. I then put on my frilly light purple ankle socks and proceeded to roll up the bottoms of my trousers just something that everybody does but nobody knows why. I then sit infront of my vanity and begin to brush my towel dried hair with my tangle teaser, this only takes me a minute so I plug in my hair dryer and curlers because if I'm not gonna have hair tomorrow imma rock it like shit today. I turn on my hair dryer to the setting to one because I hope it won't wake up dad, he gets um... Angry? I finish up on my hair in ten minutes, it would normally take 5 with a normal heat but ah well it's not like I'm in a rush or anything right? By this time my curlers had heated up and I had parted my hair into the bottom section and put up the rest with a clip. I took a 1/2" section not caring on the time it would take to do my hair since I had 3 hours and ringlets were my favourite curl. The first section took me about 10 minutes, then 5 sections later i had 2 hours to get ready still so I decided to start on my makeup, something I thought I'd given up on a long time. I stared into my mirror wandering why I hadn't just done this from the beginning? And looking at the post-it notes that were stuck around my mirror frame
You are enough
It's okay to cry
We accept the love we think we deserve
You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have
Make them wonder how you're still smiling
They read, I tried to stay positive but it's hard. I took one last glance and headed to the bathroom to get my makeup bag.

The loneliest moment I someone's life, is when they are watching their whole world fall apart. And all they can do is stare blankly
~ The Great Gatsby