INFATUATION [VALESKA]

001 / alyssa

- cold shoulder
  
   "So your mom bailed on you? Guess you have mommy issues then, huh?" I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of his words and the laugh that followed afterwards; random drunken guys were never the most considerate.

   What a shocker.

   The soft dark curl gently bounced as I released it from the hot metal tool, watching myself wince in pain in the mirror as it hit my bare shoulder. I had approximately five minutes to finish getting ready before I was extremely late to my morning class.

   Why I chose a class at seven in the morning, when there was so many other options, was beyond me. Especially when I know how bad my night habits are.

   The community college I was enrolled in, for now, was only a few minutes away from my small apartment. It wasn't really small, but it wouldn't be enough room for me to live with someone else - not that it mattered at the moment.

   The blaring noise of my alarm ringing -signaling that it was time to go- caused my body to slightly jump, causing another small burning sensation but this time, it was my ear not shoulder.

   I groaned and quickly unplugged the curling iron from the restroom socket, making my way towards where my bag and things were piled up by the front door.

   Just as I was about to walk out the door, I headed towards the make shift coat rack. The last time I forgot to take a jacket to class, it felt as if I was about to die from hypothermia in my class.

   My eyes glanced at the blue-green flannel, almost contemplating the thought of wearing something of his again. I shook my head at the idea, once was enough, and grabbed one of my black hoodies instead.

   The idea of growing attached to some guy was a no go for me. Whether it was because of my lack of trust or resentment of commitment was unknown to me; the idea just seemed completely unpleasant to me.

   Besides, wearing some random guy's shirt when you haven't seen him in a week - because you're the one avoiding him - was never a good idea.

   Jerome was nice, a little weird, but nice nonetheless. That night was fun, which is one of the reasons I'm avoiding him now.

   Sighing at the pessimistic thoughts in my head, I started heading out; hoping that nothing too bad would happen on the way there or that I wouldn't bump into one of my one night stands.

-

"No, no, no." I mumbled to myself as I skimmed through the spines of the books, the one I needed not being one of them. My fingers gripped onto the assignment sheet in my hand, not wanting to accidentally drop it. If I did, there would be no hope at all in finding the book.

"Need help, mam?" A deep voice called from behind me.

"Yes, actually. I was looking for-" the words fell out of my mouth, leaving me silent as I looked back at Jerome. The corner of my lips fell from their smiling position as I realized I needed an excuse, an excuse as to why I cut him out of my life so quickly with no explanation.

"Never really took you for much of a reader." His voice was back to normal, as he glanced up to read the section sign. "Especially not about...social science?"

There was no hint of anger or hurt in his voice, no hint of anything. I contemplated my choices in my head as he calmly stood there, probably waiting for me to give him a good excuse as to why I just took off that night.

"Yeah." I stalled. "It's for a, uh, essay." Unfolding the crumbled paper at hand, to find something to do, I looked over the name for the third time. It had to be here.

My back was turned to him, as I repeated my action from before in an attempt to find that damn book. "Alyssa." I hummed in response, busying myself by reading the various titles relating to cognitive thinking.

"Why are you mad at me?" I looked back over my shoulder, meeting eyes with his narrowed ones. "I didn't even do anything to you?"

My mouth opened to answer but quickly closed when I realized there was no way I could explain to him; there was not enough time or trust for me to justify my actions to him.

"Jerome," I sighed, setting down a book on a nearby table. In the few milliseconds I had, I tried to search for the right words but "Sorry." was the only one that came out.

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That hypothermia and classroom comment might seem dramatic but one time I forgot to take a jacket when I had history 1301 and I almost died from the cold. College classrooms make me mad with their cold temperatures. >:-( I know he seems normal now but he'll get more 'Jerome' later. :)