The World is Ugly (Frerard)

32: i love simone too much to leave her out of this ok

Stay alive, stay alive
For me
You will die, but now your life
Is free

Gerard's POV

Frank seems distant.

Ever since he got here, he seems distant and I can't do anything about it.

I mean, after being kidnapped and stuff I guess it's kind of normal for something to be a little 'off', but what's weird is that even now that we're officially dating, I don't feel half as close to him as I probably should.

I sit on the edge of my bed, on the spot that Frankie was laying in just a few days ago. It's strange to think that he's only a few feet away from me. But as much as I want to break that distance and go cuddle with him, tell him everything that's been troubling me and hopefully make it alright, I can't bring myself to do it.

And the reason why I can't is that whenever I'm with him and everything seems fine, I see that his mind is somewhere else. He avoids my gaze, speaks with little emotion and kisses with eyes wide open.

And I can't help but feel like it's all my fault. I've tried my best to make him feel better, I really have, but I can't help him if I don't know what he's dealing with, and I sure can't make him tell me either. I'm pretty sure he's avoiding the subject for a reason, and it must be good.

Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you, my brain suggests. I roll my eyes.

What could I possibly have done wrong to him, huh? I ask myself.

I don't know... Exist maybe?

I bite my lip. I really find it hard to believe there's a part of me so determined to bring me down.

What is it? Did you realize how right I am?

I sigh. I'm really not in the mood to have an argument with myself. I have to worry about Frank right now and about what the fuck will happen from now on.

For instance, we can't always stay like this, the two of us living so dangerously close to a couple of extremely homophobic and brain-dead radical christians while dating, can we?

I hear a knock on the door, too soft and delicate for it to be from any of my parents.

"Come on in" I say.

"Gee?" Frank walks in, pushing the door gently.

I smile at him. He walks over to where I am sitting and plops down beside me.

"Hey umm... That girl you talked about the other day..."

"Yeah?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "What about her?"

He shrugs "When can I meet her?".

I try my best to hide my surprise. "Are you serious, Frankie?"

He nods confidently.

"I thought you had said you needed some time"

"I said I needed time before we we went to see the guys". He laughs at my confused expression.

"I don't know, I need time to go back to my normal life and friends and everything, but I kinda still need to see people in general." He explains. "Not that you're not enough or anything... Don't get me wrong, it's just... I'm sorry I didn't mean..." he runs his fingers through his hair in frustration as he struggles to recover his ability to speak.