dreams {neymar jr.}

just take it

I take a deep breath, my eyes staring at the ceiling. Soreness reverberates through my body, and I slowly sit up, my toes barely skimming the floor. I take a couple of slow, deep breaths, before pushing myself off of the bed, and walking across the floor, into the bathroom.

I stare at myself in the mirror, various love bites littered all over my body. I run a hand through my hair slightly frowning. I bite my lip; It wasn't anything a little makeup couldn't fix.

Very quietly, I gather my things and leave his bedroom, not allowing myself a glance where he lays sprawled across the bed. I creep into the bedroom that was originally assigned to me, trying my best not to wake Ahaní. I shower, and dress in a pair of sweats and one of his sweaters, pulling my hair into a bun and putting on a large pair of sunglasses. Just as I slip my feet into some black Nike's, I hear stirring behind me.

I turn around, to find Ahaní's barely awake gaze on me, a frown on her face. "Now you decide to leave?" She whispers to me, almost scornfully. I hold up my hands, shaking my head, "Please don't act as if you know my reasons, Ahaní." I whisper back wearily, biting back tears. "Your running, Alessandra, you're always fucking running. You can't even allow yourself to have something good--good for you! What is wrong with you?!" She demands. "Shh!" I urge her, "Please." She sucks in her cheeks, her eyes sweeping over my attire, "I'm coming with you." She mutters. "Ahaní, no, I can't let you do that." I try to reason. "I don't trust you by yourself, Alessandra." She says firmly, before turning around and leaving the room.

Not soon after, we're leaving the house in her car, and I press a hand firmly against my cheekbones to hide the falling tears. Ahaní grabs one of my hands, looking at me sympathetically. "I don't really get you--like at all. But I'm here for you, Sandra. Okay? You don't have to suffer alone." I nod, avoiding her eyes.

She didn't get it though. She'd never been in love. Never been willing to give up everything, only to be denied the option. She'd never felt so deep a connection that it changed the very essence of who you were. She'd never known; and a part of me wishes that she never does. I don't want her to understand this pain.

The pain that I know I'm forcing him to wake up to. To face alone for however long. The pain that I'll no doubt hear in his voice--if he ever decides to call. I would understand why he wouldn't though; I was being extremely cruel. Forcing him into such an unbearable pain after he'd been vulnerable with me all day--there was no way he deserved it, and yet I still did it. I didn't deserve him to come after me--that was my goal.

*•*•*

The hustle and bustle of the airport forces my mind on other things as I try my best to ignore the cameras and the questions thrown at me from all around. They yelled about me, about Marisol, about him, about us, but most of all, they yelled about our fabled baby. Nothing was left out of their questions.

We finally reach the gate, and I sit down in a secluded corner, pulling the sweater tighter around me, and laying my head on my knees. "Sandra," Ahaní says feverishly from next to me. I ignore her, turning my head to face the wall. "Alessandra!" I take a deep breath, ignoring her insistent repeating of my name. "Fine." She hisses, and I can feel her get up and leave.

Not even thirty seconds later, a body sits down again, their warmth invading my cold space. "Why are you doing this?" I look up in shock, facing him, facing Neymar. His hazel eyes lock onto me, clouded with betrayal--and a surprising shine of patience. His lips are pressed together, and his fists clenched tightly at his side. He looked hastily dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of warm ups. I open my mouth to answer him, but I can't find the words, emotions overwhelming me, completely wiping out my voice.

"I don't understand, Sandra. I don't get it--not at all. But I know that I love you, and I know that you love me. And whatever your reasons may be, they're not more important than that. I just came to say goodbye." My jaw clenches, and I look down, tears flooding my eyes. He takes my chin into his hand, and turns me to face him again, just as the first tears fall out of my eyes. "Goodbye until I see you in exactly two weeks." He says firmly, eyebrows raised. He reaches towards me, and takes the sunglasses off my face, looking me dead in my eyes, "Okay? Two weeks. I'm coming there before I go back to Barcelona." I wipe away a tear as it falls, "But why?" I whisper. "Because I believe in us, Alessandra, okay? Just take me for my word, okay? I'm taking you for yours." He says. I take a deep breath, and nod. He leans forward, and presses a kiss to my lips, his hand firmly in mine. A cold piece of metal is dropped into my palm as he stands up suddenly, and I look at him quizzically. "Just take it." He says softly. He walks away then, and I slowly open my hand, and cover my mouth when I see that same ring, sitting unchanged in my hand.

"Neymar!" I shout, getting up, and running towards him. His arms were already partially open, and I throw mine around him, burying my face into his shoulder, tears running freely down my face. "I love you." He says softly. "I love you too," I cry, "I love you too. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"
____
yes; they did it