Everlasting Agony

Chapter 5

The normalcy faded though, gradually. Dissolving and dissipating like smoke. Soon enough, they couldn't even bear to look each other in the eyes.
They avoided each other with excuses and Emmett refrained from being too closer to Damien, for fear that even something as simple and as innocent as a touch of a hand can create an inferno that could swallow him whole. But they had to confront each other sooner or later, especially when suspicion began to arise.
Elizabeth grew suspicious. They knew she would eventually of course, Elizabeth was smart, but they silently wished it wouldn't happen so soon.
But Elizabeth, knew they needed some reconciling and so she arranged to meet with them like they used to. They used to go to the meadow, behind the woods, a rock ledge overlooking a valley. A thicket of berry bushes protecting it from unwanted eyes. It was their place, except they didn't visit there often anymore.
Arranging for them to meet there was the first part of her plan. The second part was never showing up so they would be forced to converse. The two were obviously not pleased when she never showed up but they were far too occupied with pretending nothing was wrong. Until Emmett had enough.
"We can't keep ignoring this, Damien," he said, treading carefully, cautious not to cross the line. Damien kept his gaze focused on the floor, as if he was trying his best to tune Emmett out. He kept his face blank, not giving away anything. "We can try to. Ignoring things is my specialty," he said, after a few moments of silence, hesitant to even acknowledge that that day even happened.
"Let's not dwell, alright? It was two months ago. Nothing happened. Not really," Damien added hastily, afraid that Emmett would suggest something else. His gaze darted back to Emmett, trying to determine what Emmett was thinking. Conflict raged in Emmett's eyes.
"Damien..." Emmett started, but was unsure of how to end the sentence.
"Why? I want to...just," Emmett trailed off.
"What?" Damien countered, looking like he dreaded this moment.
"I don't know," Emmett did know, but he didn't have the courage. Damien heaved a heavy sigh and turned, trudging away. He stared after Damien as he walked away a moment later, after mumbling a goodbye.
"Why not?" he said, right before Damien's retreating figure disappeared from sight.
Damien turned back, deliberating before slowly treading back to where he was standing a moment ago. He shook his head, a small smile of utter disbelief stretched across his face,
"Why not?" Damien repeated the question and went on,"Because it's wrong. Because whatever I feel for you, is unnatural. It's disgusting.
"Damien's gaze grew more penetrating, "Because I wish for things I should not be wishing for."
Emmett hoped nothing more but for this conversation to end that instant, but Damien pressed on, "This," he gestured to himself and Emmett. "is unheard of. An abomination. There are already all sorts of rumors, Emmett. Any sin committed would be a death penalty, Emmett. Do you want to die?"
Damien's voice escalated into a shout.
"Emmett," Damien's voice softened, his expression wearied and tired, "Please just let go of this issue."
Emmett's resolve dissipated. Damien saw the defeated look on Emmett's face and lumbered away. Whether they were back to pretending and denying or cutting off their friendship completely, Emmett didn't know.
But by the next time they met, Damien was completely friendly. But it was the type of friendly one would be like to an acquaintance and not what one would be like to a best friend. And nothing Elizabeth did would remedy the situation. Emmett was devastated at their lost friendship, it hit him hard, like someone had bashed him in the chest.
Two weeks past before Damien voluntarily spoke to him. They went to the Town's market place in each others company, but only because Elizabeth had threatened to cut off Damien's family jewels if he didn't.
Even with Elizabeth's threat, he'd begun to think Damien had given up on him in the weeks that had passed. Or that he no longer cared about him. Hated him even. And the idea of losing him for ever, his best friend, the only person (excluding Elizabeth) he'd ever trusted with his secrets, was so painful that he couldn't bear it. He could feel his eyes tearing up and his throat starting to close the way it does when he was about to cry.
But then he looked up and there Damien was, three metres away, just watching him. Emmett knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, but he couldn't help it. He and Damien then proceeded to embark on their trip.
He gave Damien a side glance for the 12th time while they were walking. Other than the occasional 'weather' talk, Damien never spoke past that.
"Have you ever dressed up as a girl?" Emmett asked, desperate for a conversation topic. 'I am an idiot' Emmett thought.
Damien quirked his eyebrows,"Why? Do I look like I sneak on girl's clothes?" The corners of his mouth turning up in a small smile as he spoke.
Emmett, desirous of continuing the conversation, babbled on,"Well yes, I suspected you of the thievery of Eliz's recent 'missing dresses' incident."
Damien let out a light-hearted laugh, surprising even himself. "But have you?" Emett pressed on. "It was one time," Damien mumbled after a while. Emmett's eyes widened in disbelief before erupting with laughter.