SPN episode codas (Destiel)

11.01 - Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire

Later, much later, in Dean's bedroom, they held each other in the dark. Kissed until Dean couldn't remember why he'd ever said they shouldn't, why he'd ever locked this away. With Cas's face in his hands, their tangle of legs, whispered names and shared breath between them, Dean finally found peace.

He was almost asleep, warm and boneless beneath flannel sheets, when Cas reached for the light. Dean squinted against it. Cas still looked worn from what his brothers had done. Sickly. His bloodshot eyes called up Rowena's spell, though it had been gone for weeks. But it would never be gone, not from Dean's memory, like their fight in the bunker that played on an endless loop, fist clenched around a blade he didn't hold and had never wanted to.

The lamp buzzed, its glow intensifying for a heart beat. Cas touched Dean's bare forearm; Dean gulped and turned his face away.

"Don't."

"Don't what?" A challenge, not a question. Cas waited the minute it took Dean to answer.

"How can you stand to look at me, after what I did to you? After what we unleashed?"

The lamp's humming grew louder and Cas drew him, shuddering, into the circle of his arms. Sighed into his hair.

"When will you understand, there is nothing that can stop my love for you – no curse, no evil. Not even you."

"Cas, I don't–"

Cas pulled back just far enough to meet his eyes. "You don't what? You don't deserve it?"

The answer stuck in Dean's throat and made his chin quiver.

"Luckily, that's not your decision." Cas smiled, lowering his head, and kissed the quiet place the Mark used to burn.