Ghost Bird Fanfiction: Sang's Lyric, The Story of Sang Sorenson's Mother

I Want to Swim Away

Lyric's Point of View

I forgot about the girls at Sheltering Arms as soon as we walked out the door. My entire focus went inward: hands on my wrists, hips against my hips, lips on my neck. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, take it off, shake it out, scrub it, get a new one; anything to make these remembered sensations go away.

Kell cradled me in his arms, walking us to the car. James was close behind us, a hand on my head, a hand on my shoulder. I tried not to grimace with each jostle or bump, but the truth was, I hurt all over.

James jumped in the backseat and held his arms out. Kell hesitated and I knew that he didn't want to give me over. I looked up at him, trying to give him a reassuring smile, but I could see the struggle in his eyes. Finally, his face became determined and he gently placed me next to James who leaned against the back window, one leg against the back seat, and pulled me into his chest. I was able to rest my back against his, and his arms enfolded me. I felt him kiss my head.

"I'm so proud of you," he said quietly in my ear. "I love you so much." 


What was he proud of? That I didn't fight? That I didn't scream?

I didn't answer, but let my eyes close. I felt the car stop and opened my eyes, surprised, but grateful I'd fallen asleep. I looked up and saw we were pulled up to a Victorian style house.

"I thought we were going to the hospital," I asked, confused.

"This doctor can do the same things as the hospital," Kell said, looking back, "but I called a doctor I know and he referred you to her. She is familiar with assault and can examine you."

Assault.

The term echoed through my head over and over and over. I looked at Kell's face, staring until he became blurred and amorphous.

"What?" I asked, trying to stay present but wanting to disappear.

"There's a doctor here who can help you," James said slowly, watching me closely.

"Okay," I answered.

Kell got out of the car and picked me up. I saw the door to the house open and a woman stepped out, holding the door open for us.

"Hello Kell," she said. "James. Lyric. My name is Dr. Mason."


"Hi," I answered. "Nice to meet..." I trailed off.

She smiled at me understanding. "My exam room is this way. Let me tell you about what to expect."
She began to elucidate the examination and documenting progress. I tuned in and out while Kell and James brought me back to the room. They sat on either side of me on the exam table as she explained. Each of them held one of my hands. I heard words like, photograph, and bloodwork, and emergency contraception.

"Where's Taylor?" I asked, interrupting the doctor's monologue. "Is he okay? Is he mad at me?"

Kell's eyes glanced sharply toward James and then back. "He'll be here soon, Priya," he replied quietly.

"Do you have any questions?" Dr. Mason asked me.

"About what?" I replied. I had barely been able to follow the conversation, I just wanted her to do what she needed to and then I wanted to go. 

Where? I didn't know, but I wanted to go.

I got through the next period of time by staring at Kell and James. They stayed with me for the blood draws and the questions, but I wanted them to leave when the doctor told me she had to take photos of my injuries and then do an internal exam.

"We want to stay," James said. "Please Lyric."


I shook my head. I didn't want them to see me. I didn't want them to see bruises and only thing of me bruised, or worse... My sanity teetered on a knife's edge.

"Please," I asked, my voice shaking, looking at Kell to please understand, please.

But he shook his head.

The idea of them seeing me, like this, at my lowest and weakest and most messed up, undid me, and my mind just shut off. Like, poof. A switch flipped and the next thing I knew, the doctor was helping me sit up and moving my legs over the side of the exam table.

"You're done?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "You needed a stitch, but it will dissolve. The police are on their way."


I thought about Officer Standish, but I didn't recognize this doctor, and I didn't think I was in Kennebunk.

"What town is this?" I asked her.

She looked at me confused. "We're in Augusta," she said slowly.

I nodded my head. "How did I end up in Augusta?" I asked. "I don't remember the ride."


She rolled her chair closer to me and looked at me in concern. "Lyric," she asked, "what do you remember?"

No no no.

Poof.