part twenty ♚ retrograde

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Preparing to propose on national television was definitely the most nerve-wracking part of my life up until that point.

I wasn't nervous until Ahren and Osten slipped into my room, both of them dressed and ready. After I saw their faces in my mirror, my fingers shook to the point of rendering me nearly incapable of knotting my tie. Ahren and Osten sat on my bed, and they were silent.

Not long after that, three more people slipped in from the hall. They were Dustan, Sasha, and James. My best friends were dressed in clean, immaculate suits. James' unruly hair was tamed and gelled. Sasha's tumbles of fiery copper were neatly brushed and hung down her back, and she tightly clutched Dustan's hand. Her dress shined like the night sky--navy blue and shimmering, and paired with her hair, it looked as though a god had decided to light the sky on fire.

When I was finished, Sasha stood and silently hugged me. My brothers and friends talked quietly together as my former Selected and I embraced. "You'll be fine," Sasha promised in a hushed voice. "Everyone gets nervous, and this is one of the easiest times to be. Just be confident as you usually are, and you'll be okay. It's just another night."

I nodded slowly. Just another night. I could handle one of those.

Less than an hour before I had to be down and ready for the Report, my father came and shooed everyone from the room. Ahren gave me a reassuring smile as he followed the others out. My father swung the door shut behind them.

Dad didn't say anything at first. He sat himself on my couch and gathered his thoughts. When he spoke, he stared at the coffee table. "I made a mistake when I asked your mother to marry me, Kaden."

"What?" My parents seemed to love each other.

My father seemed to realize that he worded that statement wrong. "Not like that!" He rushed to assure me. "No, no. I love your mother more than you can imagine, Kaden. My mistake was not in marrying her." He took a deep breath. "You know that your mother and Officer Leger were in love before your mother met me, yes?"

I nodded.

My father sighed loudly. "The day I was set to propose, I knew I was going to choose your mother. That is, until I found her and Officer Leger engaged in what appeared to be a very intimate conversation." He shook his head. "I was beyond angry. And I was hurt. I decided that I would choose the other contestant instead. Her name was Kriss. I was so cruel to your mother after what I thought I saw..." He stared off, out my windows, and I knew that my father was long gone. He was silent for a while before coming back to himself. He turned to me. "That was the day that the Southern rebels switched out the uniforms and attacked us. We were on stage, and I was about to make an awful mistake. Fate decided to step in, and thank God for that."

"I don't understand what this has to do with tonight, besides the setting." I said. My brain worked fast to analyze the story, searching through it for similarities. Was Emmaline in love with someone else, someone I should know about? Did my father know, if she was?

"You children have always asked why my parents died, and why I became king at such a young age, before I was even married. Kaden, this is the reason--my parents were shot and killed in that rebel attack, and Officer Leger and I were nearly killed trying to protect your mother. That's why he walks with a limp and why my shoulder is no good. We were both shot."

"So is this a lesson?" I asked. "Don't be an idiot and get shot like your father?"

Dad tossed his head back and laughed. "No, Kaden." He said. "No. But you and Emmaline have been through a lot together so far. I know that it's been easy lately, but I thought you should know that your mother and I were in a similar position at your age. No relationship is perfect, and we all have our secrets and our struggles. Remember that."

I promised him that I would. After that, we stood and he lead me downstairs for the final Report of my Selection. I followed, terrified, and silently hoped that there would be no guns, no blood, and no premature death on a day that was, for me, supposed to be a celebration.


The proposal was the hardest part. The result was the best.

It was great to see Emmaline reunited with her mother and brothers, laughing and smiling and joking around with them. She glowed, the brightest source of light in this seemingly dim room. When she raised her glass to her lips, her engagement ring sparkled on her left hand. She turned her infectious smile to me, and the world focused again.

The sounds of people chattering and laughing were deafening. Eadlyn, Sasha, and Josie sat together, giggling about something. Aunt May and my mother whispered back and forth. Miss Lucy and Miss Marlee were listening to something Officer Leger was saying. Ahren, Kyle, Dustan, James, and my father discussed something in low, serious voices. Beside me, Emmaline held my hand.

"What do you think, Kaden?" Emmaline asked. Her mother and brothers looked at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Conversation was easy to fall into with my family and friends. Everything felt right and perfect, and for once, my head was completely clear. I was not stuck on the past, or the future, or the present beyond the moment I was living and breathing in at that time, and I was happy. I was in love. I was getting married.

Life had never been better.


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