Louis POV
"Okay, now exhale."
The air I deposited leaves just as quickly as it came and my eyes flutter shut.
"Now inhale all the air you can."
And here we go; there's never a problem in saying goodbye to air but, trying to welcome it? It's no longer in my nature. I get about half way through the inhale before I am thrown into a coughing fit and the nurse tells me, "that's enough."
It sure is.
The stethoscope leaves my chest and is replaced with the longing for proper lungs.
"Dr. Theo will stop by for an examine in a few minutes. Sit tight, you did great." Nurse Walsh waves bye with her aging hand and gives me a sweet simper before departing.
I'm left frozen and contemplating if whether or not Dr. Theo is the same Theo that pulled at the strings of my gown and emotions. Lord I hope not.
"Baby?"
My thoughts subside with the superseder of Harry's voice. I keep my eyes glued to the linoleum and my acknowledgement tucked behind my lips. My body remains still as the sound of stupid boots make their way to where I'm sat. My knee is nudged with another knee and large bony hands spread over my thighs and beyond. "Lou-"
"What?" I interject as an unintended instinct takes over and my hands are on top of Harry's with a force to get them off my skin.
Harry instantly looks as if he's been slapped and the sting of it was left behind for ages. He doesn't say a word but his body is saying enough. He's stiff and his feet seem to debate if he should back away or not. He stays, but he's uncomfortable and it shows. His hands extract from my thighs and hang by his sides like weights. His eyes are the only thing that seem to be resting; we hold each other's gazes and more hatred grows inside as I can't identify what he's thinking.
I instantly deplore my need to push him away and my hands seem to think the same thing; they sidle their way back into Harry's grasp and search for forgiveness. Harry's hands are unresponsive, yet full of so much to say.
"That hard to make up your mind with me?" Harry says monotonously.
It was my turn to feel slapped.
"No." I flush with regret. "I mean, I didn't mean to react to your touch like that."
"How'd you prefer to react to it?" Harry asks with his hands still dead at his side.
I swallow and click my ankles together as I search for something actually valid to say.
"I...I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Well...I would prefer to not have reacted as I did."
Harry shifts his weight, "That makes two of us." He mumbles, "I'm going to head down to get some coffee, I'll let the doctor do what he needs to in the mean time. Do good." He surprises me with a swift kiss on the forehead before leaving.
***
My assumption is proved correct as Dr. Theo walks into the frigid hospital room.
"How're we feeling?" He asks softly with a sincere smile.
I can't help but offer up a smile of my own. "I'm alright."
"Breathing still the same?" It's his turn to take out his stethoscope.
My smile wavers and I instantly turn my head to the floor. "Still shitty." I mumble.
"That so?" He keeps his smile intact as if to attract the opposite in which is my scowl. "Let me take a listen." His large hands set the ear tips into each of his ears, he then places the tunable diaphragm just atop my heart. He squints his eyes at the ground as he hearkens to the beat of my heart and the sound of my slicing breaths. His smile too begins to lose it's momentum. He removes the tunable from my chest and takes the ear pieces out as he searches my face. I conclude that what he heard in my chest is exactly what I said: shitty; he doesn't know how to address the fact that my life expectancy may not be long after all.
