Rebel Love Song (Andy Biersack)

Chapter 37 My Darkest Desires

Alex's pov

Im now laying on Andy's bed and i kept hugging his pillow and my eyes looked down to my arm and i couldnt help but frown and touch my old scars 'I havent cut myself for a really long time i need to feel pain again' i shook my head "No i promised Andy to never cut again" but a little voice inside told me to just cut again or just a single small cut on my thigh since Andy wont see it.

I got up from the bed and looked for my small knife pocket i stared at it for a moment then i slowly began to lower it,it was close to my wrist but my hand began to shake.I let out a small whimper and threw the knife on the other side of the room i dont know why i sometimes just feel like doing these things i wish i never had these scars but these scars i have make me the person i am now and i know that my scars are the mark of this world so i wont regret it.

I looked at the small window on my left and got up from the floor and neared the very small window "Hmm looks like its snowing once again" I wish i could dance in the snow and be in peace bit no i wont do it plus im very lazy when winter comes since its really really cold i yawned and grabbed one of Andy's batman sleeping pants and put them on,i let my hair loose and i turned on the heater and i was about to close to sleep when a hand stopped me from closing it.

I looked up and saw a smirking Andy and i quickly pulled my hand away "Jesus Andy you scared me and your hand is cold" "Yeah? Well my hand isnt the only thing thats freezing if you get what im saying" Mhmm" i smirked walking back to the bed and Andy closed the door behind him and started taking his clothes off leaving him in his boxers and his black t-shirt "If your so cold why dont you take a nice hot shower" i suggested while i closed the curtains so the room is dark but not so dark "I dont want to" he complained and he joined me in bed.

I ignored his childish behavior which was a bit hard and my back was facing him since i was ready to sleep but after just a second i felt Andy kissing down my neck making me bite my lip and keeping myself from shivering but i gasped once i felt one of his cold hands on my stomach and nearing down my place tugging on my underwear and slowly pulling it down "Andrew stop it" I warned him but was interrupted with my very own moan as i felt his fingers tease me i soon started pulling on his hair and kissing him back so lets say that i didnt get that desired sleep i was looking for since Andy wanted something else.

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"About time you really did shower" i kind of glared at Andy while he began to dry his hair with a towel "Yeah i know but i wanted to really warm up first" i rolled my eyes and hit my lower lip as i rested my head on the pillow while looking at him "Am i allowed to sleep now?" Andy smiled to himself and chuckled "Of course your allowed now" I nodded and motioned Andy to join me once again on the bed.

Andy came and laid right next to me extremely close and he lowered himself so i can look at his eyes "Andy where were you today?" "I was with Joey since she wanted me to have a movie marathon with her since we promised her but you werent there so i was slowly dying without you there" "You sure?" I asked again "Of course princess i wouldnt lie to you ever" He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head onto of mine so i was resting it against his chest "You'll never cheat on me Andrew right?" i whispered loud enough for him to hear.

"Dont say those things princess i would never ever do that to you ive fought so much for you and i wont ever let you go...I love you Alex and i will always will" i smiled a bit and spoke "I love you too Andrew i love you very much" i hugged him even tighter and closer to me.