Of Arseholes and Bitches

04 | Of White and Silence

I DO TEND to get nervous around him at times; he is a boy, after all.

"Ashley, Levi came to check on you. You may leave for second period now." I heard Mrs Fitzgerald call from her office in her old wispy voice, ignoring the fact that neither Levi nor I are meant to be out of lesson.

The door clicked open, and a few seconds later, the sound of it being shut could be heard. The clamour of shoes scuffing against the polished floor resonated around room, and I opened one eyelid to see who was responsible for disrupting the empty silence in the school nurse's office.

Levi looked so out of place in the room. The walls, floor, ceiling, bed, cabinets, desk; all streaked with a dense, dull shade of white. Yet there he stood, in his slightly wrinkled button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. Hung loose on his neck was his tie, and with one arm, he slung his navy blue blazer over his left shoulder. His slacks swayed low on his hips, and his Kickers were covered with mud, shoe laces dragging on the floor.

"Huh," I said, "can't even knock on the door." I shifted slightly on the bed so that I sat up, and I was eye level with Levi; once he had deposited himself on the chair beside me.

"Don't patients usually like company?" Levi grinned and grabbed my fingers to fiddle with, a habit of his. I cringed when I noticed just how sweaty my fingers were against his cool slender ones, and instinctively I pulled my hand out from beneath his palm. He was persistent however, and when he reached out for my hand again, I reluctantly let him. He gave a boyish grin, as if he had just achieved something worth recognition, making me let out a breath of laughter. He is such a child.

"I wouldn't mind if Kayla was here, to be honest. But you?" I gave him a fake smile, flipping my blonde hair with my free hand. "No thank you."

"You'd pick that moody ass lesbian bitch over me?" He asked, feigning offence by placing the hand that wasn't playing with my fingers over his chest. He, however, knew that he was my best friend, so he didn't take my words heart.

"Yes, I would. And don't say that; she's not lesbian."

"Lesbian, bisexual: same difference."

I bit my lip to stop myself from ranting off at him. If it were Kayla in my position, he wouldn't have been able to finish his sentence before she proceeds to assault him.

A silence clouded over us. I wasn't sure when it began or how we had fallen into that timeless state, where we were hardly aware of each other, yet taking in every little detail at the same. It was neither awkward nor comfortable, but right in the middle. My thoughts were active, thinking about everything and nothing. I looked to my right, where a quite ordinary boy (who was quite extraordinary in his own ways) sat, eyes closed, fingers drawing an infinite pattern on the back of my hand. Now I was thinking about Levi.

"Ash, why are you smiling like that?"

Levi didn't have his eyes closed anymore, and he was staring at me with a knowing look that I couldn't decipher. He was no longer playing with my hands, but had now laced our fingers together, so we were holding hands.

My eyes had widened the slightest bit and I looked away, my face getting redder. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold in my nervous laugh. I felt my heart speed up, an awkward bubbly feeling fizzing in my chest.

"I wasn't smiling." I murmured, looking down so my hair created a dirty blonde curtain over my face. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, wondering what exactly what was wrong with me. 

When I looked back up, Levy was staring right at me. His misty grey eyes explored mine, as if searching for something hidden beneath the surface. He started laughing.

"You're smiling right now," he told me. I bit my lip in an attempt to erase the rise at the corners of my mouth, but nevertheless he was right. For some unknown reason, I was smiling.

I let out a laugh of my own.

"Fuck off Levi."

He manages to notice things I don't even know about myself.