Finding Sense

.5 pain

pain

it isn't physical,

it isn't blood,

it isn't the burns,

but it's the memories.

it's the words,

that I'm too scared to say,

it's the feelings,

that I dont dare reveal.

it's my old life,

it's my old home,

it's my old love,

it's my old joy.

it's the stepping stone,

the things I have to do,

to achieve what I want,

to get where I should.

it's the goodbyes,

it's the new hellos,

it's even as simple,

as a pinky swear.

it's the people I can't date,

even though I really want to,

even though my heart yearns it,

even though I never called it.

it's in the night,

when im feeling confused,

when my head hurts,

when my heart breaks.

it's when I get a call,

and he's upset,

and I can't say,

what I really want to.

it's the fake smiles,

it's the tears,

it's the lonely nights,

with my face in the pillow.

it's the sleeping pills,

when I can't sleep,

because im thinking of why,

you never came home.

it's the time,

I saw your scarred wrist,

I saw your broken bottles,

and you passed out on the ground.

it's how I never let go,

it's how I wake up screaming,

for you to hold on,

even when it's too late.

it's how he cares,

but doesn't dare say,

because rejection is something,

nobody wants.

it's the small things,

they hurt more than a whole,

because one small crack,

could contaminate it all.

A/N: why am I in college I am a child I am not ready for adult life I can't even work a washing machine

plus HOW DO YOU GUYS LIKE THIS CHAPTER IM BRINGING UP MY PAST HELL YEAH please vote and comment I love you guys ♥