A toothy grin graced her face and her eyes brightened with joy. She looked down towards the small toddler, who sat on her lap, twisting her chubby fingers in her older sisters chocolate locks. The child giggled every time she tugged a curl of her sister's hair down and it bounced right back into place. The teenager strongly adored her little sister. She loved her with every fiber inside her. She was her reason to smile and her sun to her rainy days.
"You know what, Sissy?" the child inquired, her voice small as she looked up to her sister with her blue doe eyes.
"What Penny?"
"I think I know who I want to be like when I grow up," she replied, excitedly. Willow sat baffled for a second, as she stared at her sister curiously. Most children know what they want to be, not who they want to be like when they grow up. Willow had never heard another child speak of such things and she honestly found it slightly odd.
"Who?"
"Someone like you!" she exclaimed.
Willow felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water onto her. Penny's declaration chilled her to the bone. With glassy eyes, she remembered dark things of terrible times. She remembered her struggle. She didn't wish that for her sister, or for anyone for that matter.
Sobs erupted from her throat, as she curled her body in the fetal position on the cold tile bathroom floor. She couldn't get them out of her head. They were so loud. Her parents shouting, the kids from school calling her names, and the voices of her insecurities blasted in her mind on full volume.
"Please, please just make it stop!" she cried out into the open air.
She felt like she was drowning and forgot how to swim. The pressure and thoughts weighed heavily on her body and caused her to sink even farther. She was losing her fight, the little amount of fight she had to begin with.
Her unfinished homework and books lay around her room in a mess, mocking her for her stupidity. Her scale tucked in-between the cabinet and kitchen sink, taunting her with its red numbers that rose so high when she stepped onto it. Her anxiety pills glaring at her from the spilled bottle she thrown in the tub in anger.
Nothing was working, nothing was enough. She wasn't enough. No matter how much she studied or how hard she worked, it wasn't enough. No matter how many miles she ran or squats she did, it wasn't enough. No matter how many pills she swallowed that were supposed to ease her nerves and sadness, it wasn't enough. No matter how many prayers she sent or tears she cried, it wasn't enough.
She wasn't happy, and she wasn't proud of herself. Her thighs jiggled when she walked and her grades weren't the greatest. She had little to none of friends. She got anxious around people and didn't like attention. She was lonely and unhappy.
Everyone said to worry about her school work and college. Everyone said to smile big and enjoy life. Everyone said it's going to be okay. But none of them said, she was smart or pretty or fine the way she was.
She wasn't the top dog. She couldn't be confident in her own mind or skin. She wanted to be like someone else. But little did she know, so did they.
AN: Hey Guys, how are you? I hope each and everyone of you are doing fantastic:) I also hope that you enjoyed this piece. I plan on entering this in a competition at my school. So all feedback is appreciated. I honestly would love to hear everyone's thoughts good or bad.
Please don't forget to vote if you enjoyed!!
-Aliyah xoxo
Dedication to the wonderful ElleTheodore! I finished her story called, "Loving the fat girl", and I honestly loved it to pieces.
