The Surrogate (A Michael Jackson Fanfiction)

Doubts and Disconnections

Doubts and Disconnections

Nina Sofia Jackson:

Michael and I managed to make it through the next couple of weeks with our newborn baby girls. He hired a second nanny so that we'd always have someone there twenty-four hours a day to help out. Things were so crazy Michael and I barely could get a moment together between taking care of the girls and me making sure Maddox still had attention. Poor Maddox was starving for his buddy Michael's attention so every free moment Michael had went to him. Now that I was out of that crazy, impulsive, pregnant hormonal mind set, I was starting to doubt if this was really a good idea... getting married and co-parenting. Michael and his staff pretty much had the job under control; I was just a milk supply. There would be times during the day Michael would hand me one of the girls without even so much as looking me in the eye for their feeding. It was like we were all just doing our jobs, there was no warm family connection as a whole. Michael didn't even feel like a husband to me. He seemed suddenly so disconnected from our relationship.

It made me wonder if now since the girls were here and he had his partial custody, if I was disposable...

It was eight o'clock at night on a Friday night and I was holding little Paris in my arms. The girls were just a little over two weeks old. Michael was sitting on the couch on the other side of the room trying to burp Priya. She finally let out a belch I could hear from all the way from where I sat on the bed. I laughed.

"She doesn't get those manners from her mommy." I said trying to get Michael's attention. All I got was a chuckle. He laid Priya down gently on the blanket he laid out on the floor. He had a little finger puppet on that he gently tapped her cheek with. She kicked her legs and reached her arms up awkwardly. He sang to her as he moved the little puppet around her face and she cooed. Paris had fallen asleep. I nuzzled her cute little sleeping face and inhaled that unforgettable new baby smell. We couldn't even get the two on the same sleep schedule... while Paris was sleeping Priya would be up and alert and vice versa.

"Michael." I said softly. He stopped singing briefly to say. "What babe?" without even looking in my direction.

"Don't forget you have a wife too, you know."

"I won't." he said simply.

And he was back to singing to Priya, teasing her with the finger puppet. I looked down at Paris. I stood with her and carried her into the nursery. I placed her gently in her bassinette and turned on her little teddy bear that played very soft lullabies and it up. I placed it in the bassinette with her and went to return to the master bedroom. Michael passed me on the way carrying a stinky Priya. He didn't even ask me to change her or anything he just went right into the nursery and did it himself. It had taken him up until now to be able to change their tiny little diapers. I spun around and followed him back inside the nursery and hovered over his shoulder. God, he was so cute in daddy mode. I smirked at his facial expression as he opened her diaper and took a look at the damage.

"What you got in them things." Michael said turning to me and looking down at my cleavage suggesting whatever I was feeding the girls was causing these massively full diapers. I was wearing a spaghetti strapped black tank top and pajama pants. Breastfeeding kept my breast abnormally large. But it was also helping to shrink my stomach. In a couple of weeks I should be able to start doing squats and sit ups to get rid of this extra little pooch I was still carrying around. I managed to survive the twin pregnancy with only a few small stretch marks on both sides of my hips. I don't even know how I managed to get those; I lathered myself down in cream religiously...

I pulled my shirt down and squeeze my nipple aiming right at his face. He gasped and gave me a look of absolute mortification. The tiny stream of breast milk slid down his cheek like a tear. The things I had to do to get my husband's attention these days... "You want to taste it?"