Confusing Alpha

Explain

"Maximus, I- I need some explaining... And soon, because weather you like it or not, I'm leaving in a day to go to my interview with Victoria Secret. I need answers Maximus- because as of right now, this is just too much" I explained to Maximus as we sat on the deck's steps of my old condo.

He was silent for a moment, looking down between his legs at the grass as I looked out up at the tree tops.

"Eveva... She- she- I'm sure you have connected her to the girl that I was... Involved with in the past, right?" he said trying to find his words.

"Yeah, I connected that," I said flatly. We sat side by side on the steps. We seemed more like friends then mates at the moment.

"Do you still-,"

"No. Nothing. Nothing since I met you, it's just almost a shock seeing her now, and last night... I don't- I can't explain my actions. I screwed up and I'm sorry" He said, when he said the last part he turned to study my face, and I just continue to stare at the tree tops.

I closed my eyes.

"Maximus, I think-" I exhaled heavily, "I think I need a little time"

"Est-."

"Maximus, we are just a roller coaster and I need time to think... It's a cycle with us, we're good then bad then fucking each other brains out then old friends and lovers coming back in the picture, causing us to start back at bad terms..." I shook my head and opened my eyes, but i knew he was staring at my face and I glanced to the side and quickly looked around when I seen his pained face, tears in his eyes.

I breathed deeply, and after a moment I felt Maximus crying. His body was still but through our bond I felt every tear cutting in my soul.

"I love you Maximus, and I want us to be together... I just need some time- for myself" I added. I kept my head down and my eyes closed. He never said a word.

I opened my eyes only for tears to spill over, and when I looked to my side he was no longer there. I felt so alone and empty and regretted what I just done. Like what if he runs back into Eveva's arms? Or does something to hurt me? I dried my tears and inhaled shapely. I got a plane to catch tomorrow, maybe I should go pack to get my mind off things... But I knew nothing could get my mind off Maximus or the Greek beauty that wanted my mate for herself.