bruised//«stiles stilinski»

Part 13

"I... I-"

"It's okay." I whisper, cutting her off. "Bad question, sorry."

She smiles ever so slightly, then turns and slumps back next to me against the wall. However, our almost blissful moment of silence is interrupted by coach, who's back in the halls, running down them like some idiot.

"Stilinski!" He shouts from the distance. I roll my eyes and put my head in my hands frustratedly, running my fingers through my messy hair. Coach's footsteps get louder and louder as he approaches. I look up at him, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

"Stilinski?" He asks, almost sympathetically, when he sees my tear stained face.

"Sorry, Coach..." I begin, slowly getting up.

"Uh, it's fine... Are you- are you okay?" Asks Coach, uncomfortably.

I nod, then walk straight past him, my head down. Though a second later I hear him talking to Malia, so slow my pace down to listen in.

"Is he alright?" Asks coach awkwardly.

"Coach, you know he has depression? Right?" Says Malia, is if talking to a child.

"What?" Asks coach disbelievingly.

"Yeah, and anxiety?... You didn't know? Most teachers do." She says.

"Why does no one tell me anything?!" Huffs coach.

"Yeah, he just had a panic attack."

I continue walking the turn into the locker room which is now mostly- thank god- empty. I sit down on the bench and stare into space. Pretty sure they won't miss me out on the field. I rub my face with my hands, wiping away any expression on my face remaining. How did my life get to this?

"Stiles? You okay?" Asks a familiar voice. I look up to see Danny, who's one of the only other people left in the room.

I raise my eyebrows in a "what do you think?" way.

"Sorry. Bad question." He says, sitting down next to me, a little too close for comfort for me, an awkward, anxious fuck. I shut my eyes.

"I don't know, Danny... Honestly? I don't think I'm ever gonna be okay." I sigh, turning to face him. His eyebrows furrow slightly as if in concentration, like he's searching for something to say next.

"I think you're gonna be fine." Smiles Danny sympathetically. I give him a confused look. "It's true. Stiles, by far are you one of the smartest, strongest people I've met. I mean, we're not that close, but I can tell that you'll pull through. Anyway, I gotta get onto the field. I'll tell coach you're not coming out." He says, before standing up and jogging out of the room.

"Thank, Danny..." I whisper after he's left. I sigh again- probably one of my most used traits. I rest my face in my hands and just think. I think of my mom and if she were still here, what would she say to all of this? Probably something like "get your head out of your sad little ass, sweetie." Then she'd hug me, and tell me it'll be okay. And Minnie- what would she do? Probably hug me, too. She wouldn't be as harsh or sarcastic as mom, but I guess that's who I get my sarcasm from. During all my thinking I realised I've begun to cry. Quickly I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand.

I think of something my counceller once told me: if you're going through hell, keep going. Why should I keep going? What if the hell doesn't end? There's no escaping hell. I sigh and decide to go and talk to her; she said I could come and see her whenever. The school makes me go to regular appointments with her anyway, since my dad has no interest in getting me anywhere outside of school.

When I reach her room, I hesitate a moment before lightly rapping on the glass window of the door.

"Come in." Replies her familiar voice. I awkwardly step inside and she smiles at me.

"Stiles. Come sit down." She says, pointing to the chair in front of her desk. I nod and take a seat, immediately tapping my fingers on the desk, a sign of angst. That is until she places her hand over mine, indicating for me to stop.

"Sorry." I mumble, placing my hands in my lap.

"It's okay. Shouldn't you be in..." She picks up a sheet of paper- my timetable I assume, "gym?" She asks. I roll my eyes and shrug.

"I-er- had a panic attack..." I tell her, my voice wobbling slightly. She nods along, not looking too surprised.

"What happened?" She asks, her head slightly tilted to the side, making her long black hair fall across her body.

"I- I just. I took off my shirt, and people were staring and they- they were pointing at how skinny I am and-"

"You aren't eating properly?" She interrupts me, concern on her face. I hesitate for a moment.

"No- uh, I am. I am eating. It just made me self conscious." I answer quickly. She raises an eyebrow at me, but doesn't object.

"Ignore them, Stiles. Anyway, Mr Harris said you arrived at school the other day, late, with mud all over yourself. Is that true?" She asks. I roll my eyes again.

"Of course it's true. I told him why. I don't know why he feels the fricken need to go blabbing about me to other teachers!" I say, getting angry. She hushes me, though.

"Stiles, it's fine. I've been asking teachers all week about my students behaviour in class. Anyone who has counselling with me. So, why were you late?" She asks.

I breathe in shakily. "Uh, it was my moms birthday." I say, flicking my gaze up to meet her sad eyes.

No doubt she knows about my mom- most people do. The Sheriff's wife dying is kinda a big deal in small towns like this.

"I'm sorry, I assume you went to... visit?" She asks unsurely. I nod.

"Yeah, the grass was sorta wet when I knelt down next to her grave." I say, and the word 'grave' sends a chill down my spine. "Am I in trouble? You know, for being late?" I ask.

She chuckles lightly. "Of course not, Stiles." She smiles kindly at me. "So, tell me, how're things at home?"

My heart sinks. I feel my breaths get shorter and shorter- quicker. "They're, uh... They'll be fine." I say quickly.

"Be fine? As in they're not fine?" She asks.

"No, uh, it's only that my dad misses my mom and Min a lot. So, uh, it's hard to really act normal around each other." I say, feeling my head get hot. She nods along in understanding.

"Min is short for Minnie- my sister- by the way." I say sadly.