Not Your Cliche Nerd

4 - Trying Too Hard

On Monday, I wake up with butterflies fluttering in my stomach. On Mondays, my school finishes at 2:00 so I'll get to go home early however, I have tennis training from 3:00 to 5:00. I've been playing tennis since I was 7 years old which is when I had decided I needed an 'everyday thing' like all the other kids. It had started off as just a hobby before I started competing in singles and now, it's a sport that I want to transform into my career. As I step out of bed, the butterflies in my stomach decide to flutter even more violently. I walk over to the bathroom that I share with my sister, my  left knee deciding to fail me right at that moment. I clutch it in agony before twisting it expertly and pushing it back into place just like the doctor showed me.

This is the reason I'm nervous. It happens occasionally but I've noticed it's been happening more and more recently however, I always dismiss it as nothing. It probably is nothing and I don't want to bother my mum with another burden. She's already got a lot on her hands, with her and dad fighting and all. I don't really like my dad. He wants a perfect little daddy's girl who will grow up to be a doctor or lawyer and he is against things such as homosexuality and other matters like that. He thinks he's king of the world, always right and that everybody else is always wrong which is why I try to minimise my contact and speech with him. I mean he thinks I'm a problem child who's too hard to manage. It's obvious my mum doesn't like him but she continues to bear with it and I honestly have no idea why. I'd prefer if they'd just divorce already instead of forcing themselves to love each other.

Before I can let my mind wander further off topic than it was before, I here a sharp 'ping', awakening me from my half zombie state like a dolphin breaking through water.

"What did you drop this time?!" My mum shouts with an exasperated sigh for which I feel really bad because I'm forever a clumsy person, always creating more problems than she can bear.

"Nothing mum.....well, just a toothbrush!" I shout back, informing her of something that never happened.

I swear the sound came from my room so I walk back to investigate. When I was younger, I would always pretend I was Sherlock Holmes, solving any mysteries I found, including ones I didn't find and ones that didn't even exist.

As I walk back into my room, I hear it again... 'ping'. I jolt my head to the source of the sound or at least where I think it's coming from but I see nothing. Then I hear another 'ping' but this time I see the pebble hit my window. Curiously but cautiously, I walk over, sliding my window up and peering outside. Standing in the garden bed below my window is the one guy who I really didn't want to deal with at the moment. In fact I was dreading our discussion and had spent a lot of my time imagining the many scenarios that could take place.

You have to talk to him sooner or later, you can't keep ignoring him. An awkward silence takes over and I urge myself to be the first to speak.

"Look, Alex, your a great guy and I have had a great time with you despite your recent actions and so I forgive you however, I do have some conditions," I ramble "but that doesn't mean I want to rush back into a relationship, I just want to stay friends....but maybe we would keep some distance for a while and let things go back to normal," I add on quickly.

A soft smile makes is way onto Alex's face as he looks up at me.

"Are you gonna let me talk?" He asks but without his usual cockiness.

"Uh, yeah...go ahead" I say, feeling the tension level decease.

"Well, you said everything I wanted to say but....I'm really sorry Kath, I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear. I don't know what came over me, it just....happened," He says, whispering the last part.

"Who's the girl you cheated on me with?" I know I seem clingy but I really needed to know what it was I had to compete with.

He looks away, avoiding eye contact with me. Dread creeps up my spine and I ask again, sadly but firmly "Alex, who did you cheat on me with?"

"Lana," his response is barely audible as the wind carries his voice away.

"Who?" I ask again, thinking I've misheard.

When I see his face, I know he's not lying and the dread from earlier is dropped onto my shoulder. My through closes up and I can feel the tears climb up to my eyes, ready to cascade down my face.

"Kath, I'm sorry...don't blame Lana, I'm the one who kissed her. She even pushed me away and I thought she told you...she said she would tell you yesterday...and I....I'm sorry." He whispers.

But I'm not listening clearly, all I can see is Lana, telling me not to rush back into a relationship with Alex as if she had the right to do that.

"I've heard enough," I whisper barely able to contain the waterfall as I shut the window.

I draw my curtains before falling into bed and letting the tears flow more freely. I try to contain my sobs so none else can hear me. Suddenly I don't want to go to school today and instead go straight to tennis, the one thing in my life that won't let me down.

I'm brought back to reality by mum's voice telling me I have fifteen minutes to get ready. I know she won't let me stay home without a good reason and I'm not in the mood to tell her about Alex and Lana. I drag myself from bed and get ready for school.

*******

Max drops me of at the school drop off zone and from the glances I get, I know it's gonna be a tough day. The fact that Alex cheated on me will be all over the school's gossip.

"Kath, you'll be fine," Max reassures me. "And if you need me to beat anyone up, just give me a call," he adds, looking at me seriously.

I just smile back and nod before taking a deep breath and walking through the school gates.
___________________________________________________________________________

I know, I know...it's been like a year since my last update...I've just been kinda lazy and distracted by fifty trillion different fandoms. Just so you know C won't be writing with me any more cuz I've moved and it would be too hard to work on it together. She might start he own account but I'm not sure yet so I'll keep you guys updated.

Also, I finally got instagram so follow me @crazy_book_girl_1 for updates on my stories (if I actually start updating regularly) and other random stuff.

❤️️❤️️❤️️