Kissing Razors (BoyxBoy)

Chapter One

I would like to dedicate this story to one of my friends who committed suicide. No matter how many years go by, I miss her more each day. She was and still is one of the strongest people I know. She continues to inspire me. This one is for you.

We have a weight to carry and a distance we must go.

We have a weight to carry, a destination we can't know.

We have a weight to carry and can put it down nowhere.

We are the weight we carry from here to there.

-Dean Koontz, Book of Counted Sorrows

WARNING: This story contains self-harm. Please read with caution.

I hope you like it!

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Chapter 1

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Song of the chapter:

The Kids Aren't Alright by Fall Out Boy

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(Isaac's POV)

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White.

That's all he can see. He's in a huge, completely white open space.

He can't even tell if there's a floor, it seems as if he's floating. Isaac knows this has to be a dream, but he can't wake himself up.

He tries to move but he can't. It's as if his body doesn't belong to him. When he looks down he sees that he's holding a knife to his arm. That's when it hits him.

This isn't a dream. It's a nightmare.

He tries to wrench the knife away in vain. A familiar feeling washes over him, and he looks ahead to see a dark cloud coming his way slowly. Heart pounding in fear, he tries to run away, but of course he can't. He's forced to watch until it stops in front of him, hovering menacingly. Suddenly, it's as if the cloud is influencing him, and he gets the uncontrollable urge to stab the knife into his wrist and drag straight up. He wants to end his own life.

Heart pounding in fear, he slowly presses the knife to his skin...

"Isaac, stop!"

Startled, Isaac looks up to see a person coming towards him. They're a pretty good distance away, but he can tell that they're heading straight towards the cloud. Isaac wants to warn them, yell, anything. He knows how dangerous it is. But his lips won't open and his voice won't work.

However, to Isaac's astonishment, the person runs right through the cloud, and as soon as they do, it dissipates, and Isaac can move again. His lungs fill with air. It was like he was underwater for a long time and was just able to come up for air.

The person is a guy. He has short, dark hair and brown eyes. He towers over Isaac. They look at each other for a few seconds. Finally, the other boy speaks.

"Do you really want to do that?" he asks, looking at the knife Isaac was now holding at his side.

Isaac lowers his head in shame.

"Yes, I do," he says, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Why?" The guy asks

Isaac stops to think this time. Why? He knows exactly why. He's just not going to explain it to a stranger, dream or not.