The Mist Between Her And Forever

\\Chapter Sixteen\\

Thinking out loud above>>>>>

~If you want your story to be magnificent, begin by realizing you are the author, and every day is a new page~ 

\\Chapter Sixteen\\

On this day, for the passed five years, I would be sitting in a corner crying my eyes out, fighting the demons inside, struggling through my loneliness, and toiling to escape my despair and trepidation.

Yet, every time this date comes, something in me tells me that it's going to get better. New beginnings shall emerge and all what I suffered will be buried in the past.

Maybe, just maybe, this voice inside of me will actually be right this time.

Walking through the busy streets of New York City doesn't seem as joyful as people describe it. All I witness is rush and hurry to prepare for the big event. No one is actually taking their time to sit and rearrange their plans, correct their mistakes, or even think of what the future might bring. Many may think my words are just balderdash philosophy, but believe me when I say, of all the people on this planet, I had nothing to do but think for the passed five years on this day. And, I figured out a lot of things.

One of which is that I should keep trying to bond with my father, but stand up for what I believe is right. Which until now is a total failure.

I should forgive people who stabbed me before in order to move on. And this actually worked with Eliana; though, it wasn't her fault. Now, we're walking forward with our friendship, even if it's a little bit messed up, but still it's progress. Unfortunately, I didn't reach that point with Alec. The hole his knife sculptured in my back didn't heal until now, and maybe it will remain a reminder of what once I thought was my hero, my best friend.

And, finally, the toughest thought of all the above is to learn to let go. The mere thought of letting go of what I hold so close to my heart, and forgetting all about the treasurable memories I shared with Christopher brings me terror. Yes, I know that Christopher and me are no more and he's about to take a big step in his life towards happiness, but I can't but hold onto him. I've newly convinced myself that loving someone from afar isn't a sin. The only sin that I am committing here is chaining myself in a one sided affair, refusing to let go and signing yet another contract with agony.

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The bell above the musty door rag as I entered the small coffee shop, echoing in the small cozy place... My mind was a storm, and the only thing that helped right now was a hot cup of coffee to relax my nerves.

As I sat alone in the shop sipping my coffee gently, something in me was screaming in suffocated, muffled voices, scratching my insides to get free.

No. It wasn't sadness or loneliness this time. It was something way more meaningful. A memory that held a vast amount of love and passion. And in the deepest bottoms of that memory something flashed lightly just to make its presence known. It was faith.

Flashback

I stand in front of the mirror checking myself for the last time. Long silky brown hair falls perfectly on my shoulders leaving a slight wave at the end. My blue dress hugs my curves perfectly, showing my long tanned legs and matching heels. Everything was on point. Well, everything should be.

"Knock, knock."

"Come in, Elena." She slowly enters the room, and as soon as her eyes fall on me, she gags in shock.

"What have I done? I created a goddess."

I laugh lightly. "Let me tell you, you're very talented, my friend. The makeup and hair was a fabulous work and, thanks to this dress, I think Christopher would actually like my attire." I spin around in front of the mirror flaunting the dress everywhere.