SyndiSparklez:My Written Life

Page 5

I think I felt too sick Tom told us about him dating a girl name Amber (don't ask) Tucker and Sonja were happy for him I acted like I was happy I talked to Amber so I know if she was the right girl...she turns out to be a slut she flirted with me and I started to scoot away I said I needed to use the restroom and that's when I let it out I cried but silently so no one hears but also I did bring something and that was my trusty razor I know I shouldn't but I really need to right now.

I did cut it felt a little nice like some of the stress in my body just blew away like nothing I got a little blood on my white shirt but I just covered it with my black jacket I put away my razor and washed my arm while wrapping some bandage around it heh you think I wouldn't bring my bandage with me your wrong something in my mind told me this would happen.

Life is hell I washed my face so it doesn't look like a cries and I dried my eyes the best I could I looked normal  and I walked out come on Jordan you can do this it's Friday...I smiles even tho it felt painful, I'm glad my friends don't notice that it's fake they didn't know me long enough to see the tears and pain I'm going threw its so painful my heart feeling like it's tiring black but I can't wait to get home I love to play video games and even talk to some internet people there is some amazing art to but YouTube will always be my only safety I find videos that I can relate to.

I maybe in pain and suffering but I still have some where to be safe, I'm get in distracted I forgot I'm still in the restroom let's head back to the lunch table or maybe I should just head to my locker yea I think I'll do that.

As I walked to my locker I saw two boys...kissing...I blushed and I soon realized who those two were it was Tony and Josh I wish I could be as happy as them.

~~Time Skip~~

As soon as I got home I wrote down the feeling I need to let out

Dear____
I feel like shit like I can never see happiness the only thing that can raise my happiness is friends that live no where near me anymore so my life sucks.
Love,CS

I put the book away and head to bed since I didn't get homework over the weekend (Lucky) I just stare at a wall I can't believe this as I look back on my life it's been hell.

I've been hurting so much my crush is dating someone and he's straight as hell, my dad is abusive towards my mom and me, I'm pansexual (YEA!) I can't get him out of my head he's just...perfect I can never get Tom out of my head.

Please I wish I had at least someone who knows my pain...I soon feel asleep.

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Has anyone felt that pain?
If you have what type of pain?
I feel like I'm being used and I'm also really stressed.
I hope you guys have a good day!