Before it started

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As I grew up I still got made fun of for being overweight in 7th grade I was in a really really small town as in 14 students was the entire 7th grade and I can name all of them off. So the elementary (pre-k-4th) middle school (5&6) and the junior high (7&8) were all one area and about 4 different buildings. Around that time I really hated myself I was 11 and almost 160lbs I was really over weight, my hair was long but shaggy and looked dead, I had glasses and wore little makeup. I was living with my aunt at the time and my 2 younger cousins (I can say has since turned into 3 about 2 months ago) they were in kinder and 1st grade 6&7 years old. So I had to be a role model and I hated the way I looked how can I be a role model to 2 younger kids that are half my age when I'm fat and get made fun of.....that really got to me, I didn't feel good enough for them. It was extremely hard I was 11 and basically raising my 2 younger cousins 1 of which was adopted and had problems and is mentally 3 or 4 years younger then her actual age. Having as low self esteem as I had it was all really overwhelming.

That summer I had moved back in with my dad and his wife, my second step mother and her kid a little boy the same age as my youngest cousin. I had also cut my hair to shoulder length the shortest my hair had ever been I'd always had hip length hair, but it looked healthier and the hair went to cancer something I had wanted to do since about 6 years old so it was for a good reason. I still had all my self esteem problems and was still overweight not much had changed that summer.

Summer ended and once again I was going to a new school, this time things were different. The bullying stopped I had friends again and I loved it, things were going somewhat good. I was still self conscious and hated myself but I had friends and I was enjoying things. About not even half way into the school year we were moving again. (told you I moved a lot) I really didn't want to move I had friends and I was enjoying school again, but that didn't mean much to my parents so in the first half of the first semester of 8th grade I moved for the 4th time in middle school. We were moving to another small town one that I had grown up in but hadn't been to school there sincere 1st grade I was out of school for 3 days because for some reason me and my little brother couldn't get registered. Finally we got into school and that's when it all started.

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