Not over

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Everything in the last chapter happened about 2 months ago. Me and my whatever you want to call him were not dating but were more then friends are on way better terms and have plans for the future. I still battle with it daily, I still don't eat, I still go on bike rides for hours upon hours, my parents took the scale out of the bathroom (for no reason that has to do with me) so I'm paranoid right now. The battle isn't over and I do want to say being anorexic is not something that I would want anyone to have but its not something that you can just stop as people tell me to do. You won't understand unless your going through or have been through an eating disorder.

To this day I'm still not happy with the way I look I still think I'm fat that I could stand to lose 20-30 pounds, no matter what anyone says. This is not the end of my battle this is just the end of the book for now. I hope that this book has helped anyone with an eating disorder, and has made some people realize what it actually is. Anorexia or any other eating disorder is not just about thinking that your fat, it's constantly thinking that anything you eat or drink will make you gain weight. It's looking in the mirror only to see flaws and fat, it's not being able to be with friends or family because your afraid they will make you eat. It's not wanting to drink anything because sugar makes you gain weight and your afraid to drink water cause of water weight. It's constantly being paranoid that someone is judging the way you look or how much you eat when you do eat, or how much u drink. It's wanting nothing but bones to be your own image of perfection, and stopping at nothing to get there even if it means not eating for a week at a time. This is my anorexia story and it's not over yet.

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