standing idle

2

"Are you excited?" Alaska inquiringly asks me after she walks to my side of the crowded hallway. I look at her and shrug. "You're lying," she shakes her head smiling. "Then why'd you ask?" I questioned her. "Got to go to class, I'll tell you if I see him." I watch her head to class.

She's right. I was lying. I knew exactly how I felt. I was boiling with excitement, it was bouncing off every corner of my body. I threw myself out of bed, and got myself out the door in seconds this morning. I've been waiting since the day Griffin had left for boarding school. I remember..growing into a state of denial after that, I felt like he was just going away for a little, I mean it was a little while, but still. He was forced to leave because of me. His father had gotten furious as Griffin's days were spent more with me than his own family. He grew to hate me and decided it would be a great idea to send his son to boarding school to focus on school and only school, not girls. I got over it eventually though; moved on and continued on living the junior year life. Now, it's the first day of being a senior and as exciting as that is, Griffin coming back pushed away that cloud of excitement and brought in a bigger cloud. I don't even know what to say to him when I see him. We broke up before he left since going to boarding school meant no contact with me whatsoever. He didn't want me to wait a year for him because that would be 'too painful'. But I did anyways.

I quickly haul myself to my first period class, English, and sit in the only not taken seat which is in the way back. As I scan the room for anyone I know, I spot Lea sitting two seats left of me. We lock eyes and wave at each other. I continue scanning and realize Griffin isn't in this class and a feeling of disappointment sweeps over me. I also notice two of my ex's are in this class. Dammit, and I hate both of them. Did I mention I hadn't dated anyone last year after Griffin left? Nope, no one. I'm sort of impressed with myself.

The bell rings and a young, hot blonde male walks in the room and it's not Griffin. He speaks in an British accent, "Hello seniors. I will be your last English teacher at this school: Mr. Andries." My eyes wide and mouth hang open as soon as I hear the word, 'teacher'. A fucking British teacher!! He looks like he's only.. 20. Hell, he looks like a god damn student! Lea looks at me and raises her eyebrows. I raise my eyebrows back at her and the guy in between looks at me in a disgusted way.

"The name is dutch for any of those, or perhaps none of you, wondering why it sounds so non-american. Since it's only the first day, let's all get to know each other a little bit. Anyone have any questions for me?" he continues.

A swarm of hands immediately fly up. "How old are you?", someone who I recognize the voice of immediately. Griffin's other ex, Clara. Honestly, yeah I fucking hate her. She acts like such a bitch around me; probably her way of saying "you're my replacement? hah!" But I know, on the inside, she's jealous as hell. Andries replies with, "Very common question actually; I'm 23 and then the question following is usually, are you single? I even got asked that by a guy once.. But yes I am." The class laughs.

I raise my eyebrows at Lea and she just laughs.

After about 50 other random questions, he stops and says, "Okay, we only have 5 minutes left, so I'll take that time to go over the rules."

While he went on about the shitty rules that no one really cares about, I daydreamed about Griffin. When will I ever see him? I imagine us locking eyes and I run over to him and he hugs me. I wonder if he got hotter? Was that even possible though.. I mean it's Griffin? Anything was possible with him. I wonder if his voice changed or if he changed in whole? I also wonder how boarding school went and if his father still hates me. Hopefully we'll get back together soon and have our cute little picnic dates again and sleeps in the truck out in the middle of nowhere. I miss that. I've always missed that since the day one he had left.