standing idle

4

"So.." he puts in his car keys, and asks. "How about my place? No one's home.."

"Sounds good," I yawn, extending my arms out a little to stretch. "Just get me back here right before school ends because I have to pick up Callie."

"Alright, just don't forget to remind me," he says as he starts up the car and heads out of the school parking lot.

"I remember when I used to go to your house like everyday.." I start.

"Yeah..back when you and Griffin were together.." His eyes quickly turn to me, to make sure I was okay with talking about him. I shake my head in response and roll my eyes. "I'm not that weak. I don't just hear his name and suddenly my whole world falls apart. It's only when he's around."

"Okay.. gotcha," he answers, playing with his hair again, then he asks, "How long do you think you and Alaska'll be mad each other?"

"Not too long," I answer. "I mean the longest we've ever been mad at each other was like three weeks, but that was in freshman year.. I don't even remember what we were mad about."

"That's good, I guess," he shrugs, keeping his eyes on the road. "Yeah, I guess."

The next few minutes are silent. Neither of us say anything; him focusing on driving and I scrolling through my Instagram feed. Soon enough, I don't hesitate to look back on my own feed. Going from 8 weeks to 18 weeks to 100 weeks. I realize what I'm doing and hurriedly stop myself. It's like I'm trying to make myself suffer or something.

A few minutes later, we finally arrive to his house. I haven't been here in such a long time. "Wow - it's changed - a-alot." I eye the bushes that used to be green spheres and now are squares. And the hammock on the patio - it was removed. Griffin and I used to do stuff there.

I seriously need to stop with these thoughts.. Great, now I have a weird lump feeling in my throat. Great, Alana - way to go!

"Yeah..my parents 'remodeled' the house," he claims as he unlocks the car and steps out. I expected him to rush over to my side and open the door but he doesn't. Fine then, I think as I watch him head for the house door.

I open the door and step out, grabbing my school bag right before I close it.

When I enter the house, I don't realize Conner is out of sight. Instead, I think of how familiar everything is and all the memories that were once played in just this very living room. I close the door behind me and find myself staring at the pictures on the wall; I eye a picture of Griffin and I , still hung right over the same drawers. I remember that day; I was looking hot, but so was he. I also remember that that was the day we had went to a diner at 3 am in pajamas and got judged by an old lady. That was fun.

I snap out of daydream mode and become aware of Conner walking into the room with popcorn in hand. I laugh, thinking of how stupid he must be, "Nice try.. but no Netflix & chill."

"Nice thought, but this popcorn is for myself, thank you..", his sentence gets interrupted by a deep and un-soothing voice coming from the corner of the room.

Yeah, you can guess who that is..

Our eyes both land on the one and only, Griffin Walton. My ex boyfriend and ex-friend apparently and, his brother. He stands in the hallway between the kitchen and living room with a oversized flannel shirt and grey sweatpants, and messy, tousled hair.

"So, you guys decided to skip school today just so you can just hook up again?"

At first, I think Conner did this purposely to get me to talk to Griffin, but I realize Griffin wouldn't say that if it was to talk to me.