Shattered

{nineteen}

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I didn't answer any of your calls. I only pressed ignore. Over and over again. I missed you so much. It was the next week. I came over. You opened the door looking a mess. You tried to say sorry and I told you we needed to talk. I ended it. You tried to stop me but I kept saying no. The tears inside me went down my face in a river. You needed to be with your friends and family. I told you I loved you and I left. The boys texted me saying that Harry is a mess. I told them this was whats best for you. It is. I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave at all. Sometimes it about not whats best for you but best for the other. I'm sorry. I didn't like hurting you. But you needed to be with the boys. Just because I let you go, doesn't mean I wanted to. I broke up with you because sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come. I want to say this before I take something away. I have never felt right. Not in my own skin at least. The only that felt right was you. And now that's gone. My life was painful without a doubt. My mom won't do much. I sometimes think about how my life could've been if I stay. But I realized my disorder is not something that will go away it's something that will always be a part of me. Its amazing how there can be a color within you. A color so vivid it stands out on the other pale color. It gave me peace. My demons told me too. I wish it didn't hurt you. It was only meant to hurt me. My plan is not to hurt you. You can't let this hurt you ever. I won't ever forget you. The truth is, no matter how often I lie and say I've forgotten us , I haven't. I could never forget. That was the story of us. We were madly in love. I'm sorry. I love you, Harry.

Love,

Sam.