Reality (Sequel to Future)

Chapter Ten

Devin, Deon, and I were sitting in the tv room watching cartoons. Miss Mabel had already went home for the night. Deon had fallen asleep cuddled up in my arms. I looked over at Devin and saw him staring off into thin air. I had no clue what was up with him lately. It had been three weeks since the day we spent at the beach which was actually pretty nice. Ever since, we were good but he just grows even more distant by the day. I'm surprised I got him to hang out with Deon and I tonight. But there had been something I wanted to ask him for a while now. I got the remote and muted the tv making him look at me.

"I wanna ask you something" I stated.

"Go ahead" he said nonchalantly.

"When I was trying to get you to not come to my house, you said that you owed Chresanto. Owed him for what?"

"I just do. He's my boss" he shrugged.

"Then you would've just said that. He did something for you. What was it?"

"Look, Bahja, it's a long story and you really don't wanna hear it"

"So why am I asking, then?"

"I don't know. 'Cause you're nosey as hell"

"Because I care, Devin. It's not like I'm doing anything these days. I could use a long story. It would take my mind off of my own" I chuckled.

He remained silent and stared at his lap.

"Does it have something to do with why you've been acting weird lately?"

"Bahja, stop" he mumbled. "If you keep asking me, I'm gonna get pissed off"

I stared at him for a minute astonished at his sudden anger but I could respect it. He didn't pry when I popped off on him about him staying out of my business. I could stay out of his if he wanted me to.

"Well, you can talk to me about it...if you ever want to anyway" I said.

At that, he didn't respond.

"Okay, I'm gonna go put Deon down"

I unmuted the tv and put the remote in Devin's lap. Then I carried Deon's sleeping body to his room and gently placed him in the crib careful not to wake him. He turned a little bit before stilling once again. I loved watching him sleep. He puts me through so much frustration every day but there was nothing like watching him sleep. Maybe because him looking so peaceful was such a great contrast to his crying and screaming. Chresanto on the other hand never wanted to take the time to watch him. He was too busy dragging me out of the room to get to bed so that we could get as much sleep as possible before Deon started crying again. I chuckled at the thought and left the room closing the door behind me.

I went to my room and pulled out a bag of weed that Chresanto had bought for us right before he was arrested. I was gonna wait until he was back for us to smoke it but hell, I needed this. I got the rolling papers and went out to the balcony. I rolled up on the railing and began to smoke for a few minutes.

"Mind if I join you?" I heard Devin say from behind me.

I turned to him and held out the blunt to him. He took a puff and then stared at it as he let the smoke out.

"Didn't I give ya'll this?" he asked.

"We always get our weed from you" I said. "I practically demand it"

He laughed and took another puff before handing it back to me. He sighed looking out at Miami. I looked at him expectantly. It was obvious that he had something on his mind.

"Remember a few weeks ago at the beach and you were talking to me about...relationships and shit?"

I nodded.

"Well, I was in one before" he admitted. "Her name was Sierra"

"What happened?" I asked taking another puff.

He shook his head.

"God, she was so perfect" he said as if he didn't hear what I said.

But I wasn't going to repeat myself. I'd let him say what was on his mind.

"We were together for two years and I was gonna..."

"Propose?" I said finishing his sentence.

He hesistantly nodded.

"A few years ago, we had this really bad beef with this gang from Miami because we were taking over drug wise. One night, Sierra and I were on our way to have dinner. That's when I was gonna do it. Then the next thing I knew, this big red truck pulled up next to us at a stoplight and started shooting into the car"

I held a hand up to my mouth. I couldn't imagine. I'd probably be scared out of my mind. And God forbid Chresanto and Deon were in the car too.

"I made it out with this" he said turning to me and showing me two bullet wounds on his left shoulder that I had never noticed before.

"But then after they pulled off, I saw Sierra bleeding out of her neck"

"Devin, I'm so sorry" was all I could say.

He took the blunt from my hand and smoked it in an attempt to keep him calm.

"I took her to the hospital but she was 'dead on arrival'" he said as if he were mimicking the doctor who told him so.

"Roc took out the whole gang afterward. That's why I owe him. And I guess that's why I sleep with so many women and don't give two shits about it"

"You're afraid of getting attached" I said finally understanding him.

"Only to get hurt" he finished and handed the blunt back to me. "But the day she died is tomorrow and I always get a little depressed when it comes up, you know? It just reminds me why I can never have a regular life"

"Well, sure you can!"

He shook his head.

"As long as I'm still doing this I can't. I'm always gonna be in danger of something. I wish I could stop. Wish I could do something else but this game...i-it's just become a part of me. I don't know how to explain it. Never missed a bill, never went hungry, and neither did my family. It's who I am and it's gotten so bad that I can't stop. Not even when the only girl I've ever fallen in love with died because of it"

"I think it was a sign" I said. "That you should stop, I mean"

I wanted him to quit before it was too late and he ended up where Chresanto was. Jail. But Devin scoffed.

"It was a punishment" he said. "Anyway, sorry for being an ass earlier. I just don't like talking about it is all but I felt like you should know why I'm moping if I'm gonna do it in your house, right?" he said forcing a small smile of his face.

"No, not right"

"What?"

"You're not just gonna mope around my house all day. We're gonna go out" I said taking a trick out of his book.

He chuckled.

"That's cute. Following in my footsteps but no, Bahja. You can't make me happy about this one"

"I'm not trying to make you happy. We're just gonna get your mind off of it"

He was silent for a while just looking out into the sky.

"C'mon, Devin. You'll love it. How long have you been doing this to yourself?"

"Three years" he mumbled sadly.

"And it ends tomorrow" I said. "At two o'clock"

He looked at me as if to warn me that he was a lost cause but I remained confident.

"Fine. Two" he repeated.

"Good" I said pulling the blunt back to my lips. "Now help me finish this before you go to bed"

Then, for the first time in a while, he smiled and it was genuine.