My mate loves my twin

Chapter 4

Stepping out of the airport with Dylan and Paul seems surreal, just 24 hours before I was walking home from work doing my daily routine and now I'm back to a place I promised I would never come back too, but strangely it feels like home, maybe because at one point this was my home it was my everything, and now I'm back because my twin is gone.  Everything to this point was a blur, I did it with a numb sensation I packed, called my manager and told him I needed to go back home for a family emergency,  that conversation went well let's just hope I have a job when I come back, and I do plan on coming back. We drove to LAX took a flight and now I'm here back in Hawaii.

"You ready?" Dylan said 

"I don't know." I whispered because I really didn't. Who is ever ready when they loose a loved one and return to a place that promised never to return too? 

We walked to the car that was parked all the way on the other side of the airport, once we got in we started the long journey home.  Our pack was located all the way on the other side of the island right by the beach about 3 hours away from the airport.  We all sat in silence while Paul drove, no one spoke a word, I was looking out the window admiring all the trees and flowers. One thing I miss about Hawaii is it's nature it's like a breath of fresh air. I have always loved being outdoors, loved just sitting by the beach, the quietness of the island. I roll my windows down close my eyes and just breath in a breath of fresh air. I can feel both Paul and Dylan eyes on but ignore them and continue taking in what was once my home. Finally after a couple of minutes Dylan broke the silence. 

"Athena, why did you leave us? I mean you just left a nasty note and that was it. Did we do something? I just don't understand." He took a deep breath and finished by saying "You were happy right?"  He turned to look at me, Paul stared at me through the rearview mirror,  but his eyes don't convey confusion like I believed they would since no one knows the real reason why I left, they tell me that that he definitley knows something of what happened eight years ago. 

How do I explain to them that I wasn't happy anymore? That the love of my life, my other half, the one who was supposed to love me, cherish me, and be with me, loved my other half literally. That it was all their beloved Alpha's fault that I left. Also in a way I do blame them and my family because no one saw my pain. Was I that good at hiding it? I didn't think so, yea I put up a brave front and a smile but I know if someone really looked at me they would have seen my heart break, but they were just all happy in there little bubble and I realized that in a way I also resented them. I resented them for being happy while I was fighting everyday just to get up and live. Figuring this out, I decided to come up with the most logical answer.

"I got rejected." I said, I said staring right at Paul since he has not taken his eyes off of me since Dylan asked the question. 

"What?" Dylan says, while Paul kept looking at me through the rear view mirror. Oh yea he knows something. 

"I got rejected on my 16th birthday I thought I could move on but I couldn't so I just left" I said while still looking at Paul. I narrowed my eyes showing him that I know he knows something. He finally looked away and just kept looking forward.  

"Was it someone from the pack?" Dylan asked.  

Ugh now thats a tricky question I mean its not like we are the only pack in Hawaii so I could lie and say no but something in my heart told me to tell them the truth so I did.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry Athena, We didn't know, I mean after you left things changed, The alpha hasn't been the same...." 

"Dylan enough." Paul interrupted him. Dylan shut his mouth quickly and gave Paul a weird look. 

What did he mean things changed?  Xavier wasn't the same? I thought to myself,  but I pushed it to the back of mind I had more important things to worry about like my family. How are they going to react when they see me? After Paul interrupted Dylan the rest of the ride was quiet, Paul kept staring at me through the rear view mirror maybe hoping I wouldn't jump out of the car and make a run for it, I'm not going to lie and not say I didn't think about it because it crossed my mind a million times. While sitting for the rest of the ride I thought about my past and I knew that I had to do something else while I was here and that was too finally reject Xavier and let go of this pain and move on, sadly it took my sister's death and eight years to realize this. I guess in the back of mind I always hoped he would come looking for me, and beg for forgiveness, tell me that he made a mistake, that once I left he realized that I was it for him. It was stupid thinking that he would do something like that with how much he loved Anna, and it was even more stupid to even have some hope that would happen.