The funeral is today.
I can't get out of bed.
I don't see the point.
He's gone and school doesn't matter because he was the one who told me that my dreams could come true even though the noise gave me panic attacks. He was the one he told me that I still need to go to school even though school isn't, can't be, isn't safe.
Only a goddamned fool could believe that.
And Tyde was one.
He was a fucking fool for thinking that things could be normal. He was a fucking fool for thinking that maybe I could do what I wanted to do. He was a fool for believing the things that people told him.
He was a fool and now he's gone.
I can't help but blame them. Blame myself. Blame Tyler fucking Oakley. Blame the rest of the world. Blame the fact that my heart is still beating when his is dead and gone and still and he's fucking dead and it's the rest of the world's fault.
But the world never did anything wrong.
It's just the people who live in it.
And I want to kill all of them.
But Tyde wouldn't want that.
And, despite what he did, Tyler wouldn't either.
And I can't let Connor become me.
I can't let the wheel go round and I can't let Tyde go.
I can't not hold onto my baby brother's hand when he crosses the road.
YOU ARE READING
may shatter on impact (tronnor)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] NaNoWriMo 2015 - "My heart skips a beat and all the careful precautions and burned photographs and the pretense of safety and normalcy is shattered, oh God what have I done?" Troye Sivan is running from a past that he's still livin...
