may shatter on impact (tronnor)

95. Everything & Promises

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE

A rock bounces into the the water. The wind blows the snow past my face, the smell of the fresh air all around me. I nudge my toe forward just a bit more, another rock dropping down a hundred - two hundred? I can't remember, why can't I fucking remember? - feet, bouncing, cutting, slipping, sliding through the water in a haze of memory and fear.

My fists are clenched and I open them, open my fingers to the world, and spread my arms out. I feel like I'm flying, like I'm not going to fall, but survive and take everyone I lost with me.

I close my eyes, just listening to the wind, to the trees, to the waves, the the ghost of my brother.

Someone wraps their hand around my wrist.

My eyes fly open and I stumble -

But they catch me, and then familiar arms are around my waist and holding me to the ground and keeping me there and keeping me from my brother, from Tyde.

"Troye!" Connor is sobbing my name. "Don't - you - ever - fucking - dare - to - "

I don't even realize that I'm fighting him until I stop.

My arms are too tired and my eyes can't stay open to a world without my brother, to a world without everything that I want, that I need.

I fall limp in Connor's grasp, giving up and just clutching him, his shirt, his shoulder, his neck, just Connor.

"Troye," he whispers, letting his tears fall free. "You're my everything, and don't you ever fucking leave me like that."

I nod silently, holding onto his warmth, letting him hold me to the ground, letting him take me away from the edge of the cliffs. "Promise."

"O-okay."