Lost Boy (Tronnor)

1

[ TRIGGER WARNING ]

'You're not good for me, but baby I want you' – Diet Mountain Dew

My hands are shaking. I can't keep still. I feel so numb, I couldn'thear anything. I just sat here, waiting for nothing. Tears streameddown my face. The voices suddenly got louder, shouting into my ear,'Troye, c'mon, it's not hard, the blade's right over there, get up.GET UP!'

I grab my head, praying that the voices will go away, they don't. Itgets louder and louder, like white noise, but worse. 'Troye, go overthere now, it's so so so easy, and when it's done, well then it'llall be over, forever.'

I get up, tears block my sight as I stumble over to my desk – 'YesTroye, right in there, it'll all feel better after this' – Igrabbed my blade, I held it so hard it cut my palm. I love the pain,it makes me feel ... almost real.

 Taking off my shirt, I slowly place the blade over my chest, andpull. A line of red appears. It's just the beginning. I repeat theprocess, blood drips down onto my legs, blood mixed with tears. Itstings. The pain is bearable though, I need it. I move the blade tomy wrist, cutting jagged lines into my skin. I feel like I'mfloating, this doesn't feel real. I carry on, blood drips onto thefloor, a deep red. The whole world becomes fuzzy. I swing out myhand, blood flying everywhere, I hit something. My whole body feelsweightless, the voices are back, 'well done Troye, it's going to begood now, you did it.'