Aphasia

Falling out

I loved you. Honestly, I really did. I spent hours gazing at your face, and couldn't make out a single flaw. The way your eyelashes curled as if reaching for the sky, the way your jawline tapered up so abruptly. The way wind caught in your hair and sunlight bounced off your cheeks - I had only one word to describe you. Perfect. You were perfect.
But you never looked at me and thought I was perfect. I know, because I never caught you staring at me, not once.
You noticed other things though. Airplanes passing by, that little bird that just flew overhead. The little white crab scuttling towards its little hole in the sand.
And one day I looked at you, and all I saw were the flaws I never noticed before.
The way your eyes had a layer of unwilling steel over it, the way your mouth curled into a grimace when I said your name. The way you held me either too tightly like I was a posession, or too loosely like I was unimportant. The way your lips only found mine when you wanted more than a kiss.
For the first time, I saw all this.
And it terrified me.
For the first time I saw you for the imperfect human you were, and all I wanted to do was run, and curse at myself for thinking you put the stars in the sky.
And that is when I knew.
I didn't love you anymore.