Craving you (Camren)

Chapter 3

Lauren's POV

Watching Camila leave my apartment was a view I never liked seeing. It left me always feeling empty and lonely. Sometimes I just wanted to grab her by the wrist and ask her to stay. But what would she say? Sure? I can't? No? My relationship with Camila always had so many unanswered questions and so many actions that never happened.

Honestly, I have no idea why Camila has kept our affair going. I shouldn't be complaining because this affair has been what I've always wanted. I've always wanted Camila. But I know that this was the only way I'd ever get Camila. I'd get her for a few hours and then she'd go to who she really loved. Maybe that's why I always kept myself occupied with so many other women. Because if she went back to someone else, then so would I.

All the other girls I was hooking up with were an attempt at a distraction. Did I ever really forget about Camila? No. But for a couple minutes or hour, my broken heart would feel numb. I could never tell Camila how bad I wanted her. She loved him and I would never risk losing her by questioning what we were doing.

I woke up the next day and took a warm shower. I heard my phone vibrate as I was getting dressed. Grabbing my phone from my nightstand, I saw I had a text from my boss asking me to come into work. It was Saturday. I groaned out loud and told him id be there shortly.

Walking into my boss's office, I asked him what I needed to do. He gave me a list of clients who needed their paperwork done as soon as possible. I walked back to my own office and began working on the list.

I glanced at the clock later on and decided it was time for a lunch break. Stepping out of the building, I walked across the street to one of my favorite delis. I ordered my food and turned around to see Camila and my friend Dinah in the corner eating lunch. Dinah spotted me first and signaled for me to sit with them.

I walked up to their table and sat down.

"Hi guys, I didn't know you liked this place" I said.

Camila looked up from her sandwich and looked shocked to see me. She gave me a small smile.

"Lauren- hi, y-yeah we love this deli" she told me.

"Are you working today?" Dinah asked me.

"I am, how about you guys?" I asked.

"We just finished our shift" Camila said.

"What are you doing tonight Lauren? Oh wait, let me guess, each other?" Dinah asked.

I almost choked on my sandwich while Camila almost spit her soda out.

"Okay geez, calm down guys" Dinah laughed.

I looked at Camila quickly and looked back at Dinah.

"Um, I wasn't planning on doing anything tonight, actually. How about you guys?" I asked back.

"I'm babysitting tonight" Dinah answered rolling her eyes.

"How about you Camz?" I asked her.

"Austin has the night off, so I'll be spending the night sitting in an awkward silence watching tv with him" she said.

I cringed a little bit when she mentioned his name.

"Does he even try to have sex with you?" Dinah asked.

"Dinah!" She yelled at her.

"What? It's just crazy that y'all do nothing with each other!" She said.

I grew extremely uncomfortable thinking about Camila and Austin having sex.

"I should get going back to work" I cleared my throat and said while getting up. "It was nice seeing both of you, we should have a planned lunch next time" I told them.

Dinah got up and gave me a hug. "I agree, we never all hang out" she told me.

Camila got up next and also gave me a hug. "Bye babe" she whispered so only I could hear it. "Have a good day at work" she said. She gave me one of those toothy smiles that made my heart melt. That smile alone would keep me happy for the rest of the day.

"Bye guys" I waved as I walked out.

Walking back to my work building, I hoped that I'd get through the rest of that list soon.

Getting back into my office, I got right back to work.

A few hours went by and I found myself thinking, what if Camila and Austin do have sex? Why would she come to me then? Either way, I couldn't really be mad. She wasn't mine anyways. I guess I just had to be thankful that she came to me at all.

Finally finishing the last client on my list, I grabbed my things and started heading home.

I got home and had dinner. I was watching tv when I felt my phone vibrate. My heart jumped when I saw who it was from.

Camila:
I wish I was with you right now.

A small smile appeared on my face. I wish she was too. But she wasn't.

Lauren:
Me too. How's the awkward silence?

Camila:
Pretty silent.

Lauren:
I'm sorry he treats you like this Camz.

Camila:
It's okay, I have you :)

Yeah, but I don't have you, I thought to myself.

Lauren:
You do :) I'm going to bed. Night Camz.

Camila:
Night Lo.

After receiving her text, I decided to text one of the many booty calls I had in my phone. Tonight I chose Chelsea. I hated feeling lonely and empty. She responded right away and said she'd be right over.

I prepared myself for the meaningless sex we were going to have as I got up to answer the door.

"Hey you" she smirked at me.

"Long time no see" I said as she pulled me in for a passionate kiss.

After the meaningless sex, I found myself looking at the ceiling, wondering if Camila wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her.