Own Me

Chapter One

A.N. Hey my darlings, it's Clay here. I hope you're ready for another fucked up journey.

INTRODUCING: Own Me. Another dark, twisty, fucked up book written just for you. It's the STANDALONE sequel to Take Me, so you don't need to read that but I think you totally should. It'll also be very fucking sexual, as you'll soon be finding out. You should expect it from me at this point, guys. I just literally shove sex in at any given opportunity, because why the hell not? Don't forget to vote and comment, I always try to reply! I hope you like this one, xoxo.

"For being different, it's easy. But to be unique, it's a complicated thing."

-Lady Gaga

♔ Chapter One ♔

The first time he fucked me, it was in an alley on the dodgy side of town.

It was a dark alley, so we wouldn't be interrupted. It was dank and wet, since it'd been raining heavily this morning, and at the time, it seemed like the perfect place to fuck him. I mean, it was fast and it was casual - he wasn't the type of person you wanted to hop into a relationship with, trust me. So fucking in an alley was best, I think, and at the time, I didn't really mind it.

I suppose it started as soon as I spotted him. I knew him, but seeing him walking down this part of town, it shocked me to say the least. Then again, not really. I knew all about his filthy and sordid past - I was a part of it, after all.

His name was Isaac Attenborough, the name alone sending a sudden chill through me. He used to date someone I once loved, before he died. I shivered, just thinking about Tom, after all this time. And then a second shiver made it's way up my spine, when Isaac's cold brown eyes landed right on mine, and a vicious smile tickled it's way along his brooding lips, scattering dimples at the corners of his smirking mouth.

I knew I shouldn't have, but I did. I winked, and signaled him towards me. I almost regretted it, knowing what Isaac was capable of, but at the time, I didn't really give a shit. It was almost like I forgot how abusive he was, how rough he was with Tom; how he beat him, and drove him to suicide. No one ever really found out what happened on those cliffs, why he jumped from them, but I knew Isaac drove him to it.

At the same time, maybe I did remember all of those horrible things, maybe that was the exact reason I signaled him over. Knowing everything he's done, all the pain he's caused, and almost liking it. I shivered again, just at the thought of inviting his darkness in so willingly.

Believe it or not, I never used to be like this. I never used to plunge into bad situations like this. I'd changed, ever since my best friend died. Tom dove from a cliff almost a year ago, and seeing his ex-boyfriend walking towards me - it was scary, it brought back waves of thought about Tom, about how I was so tragically in love with him.

For the first time in a long time, Tom had actually crossed my mind. A year later, and I only really thought about him every once in a while. Not all the time, but every few weeks, I'd look back and I'd think, and I'd remember how he used to be, how we used to be. I'd smile, remembering his tufty brown hair, his sweet shyness, and I'd miss him. I'd miss him so hard in those moments that I didn't even feel like myself anymore. What was I without him? I couldn't even bare to face the answer. I was nothing without him. I was less than nothing without him.

I shouldn't be thinking about him, I know. A whole year since he dove from that cliff. A whole year, and somehow I managed to move on. Somehow, I managed to dribble on by without him. Even still, he would be forever imprinted into my soul, a tattoo on my skin, like a fading memory, a wound that only time would heal. And only then, if I was lucky.