Loyal | Tom Riddle

19: Apologies

Returning to Hogwarts was a welcome distraction for both Arabella and Nikolai.  Spending the last week alone -- save for Abraxas and all the portraits of their ancestors, of course -- had been a most agonising affair in an unnaturally quiet environment. Whereas the manor house had been only partially empty before, due to Alaric's absence, it was now hauntingly desolate.

The journey back to Scotland aboard the train was mostly silent, with the despondent trio having a compartment to themselves for the duration of the three hours where they travelled past several towering evergreens and blurs of roaring rivers. Occasionally, a classmate would stop by their door and offer their condolences, which would be taken with a grim smile by Arabella and disregarded entirely by her brother.

Malfoy sat nearest to her, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder as he kept his arm wrapped snugly around her. Nikolai regarded the two of them with a cynical eye whenever he wasn't staring off into space, drowning himself in his own thoughts as he relived the funeral over and over again.

It had been a long, gloomy event characterised by the long, heartfelt speeches given by nearly every blood relative on their mother's side that had come up to visit from Serbia. Every person in attendance was reduced to tears by the end of the last eulogy, stuffing their straight-backed prides away to honour the memory of the woman whose death had officially been ruled as a suicide by the Ministry. 

Yet something had been missing all along; the gaping hole left by their father could be felt by the empty chair in the front row, the minute's silence that passed by in agonising slowness when his wife's pallbearers -- her five older brothers, each looking more Slavic than the next, and Nikolai -- rose up like melancholy spectres to take their place at her side, one last time, as they bore her to her resting place.

Then, too, did Arabella find herself leaning on to Abraxas for support in every way:  emotionally, mentally, physically. He didn't say a word as she sobbed harder than ever before, staining his expensive suit jacket. He let her cry until her eyes were dry, until only short, gasping breaths escaped her lips and she was left with a slight tremble. It was only then that he took her hands with both of his and tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ear, looking down at her as if she were the only person on earth.

"No one ever told me grief felt so like fear," she whispered as light rain fell on Eboncairn's ancient graveyard. "Will it ever go away?"

Malfoy squeezed her hand reassuringly. "The ones we love never truly leave us."

The raindrops that landed on her window jolted Arabella back into the present, with the hand that held hers a reminder that wallowing in her sorrows would do her no good. Glancing up, she took in the fine, pale features of the face so close to hers.

Abraxas met her gaze, his grey eyes holding a light of hope that had been snuffed out by the winter winds outside her father's study. "How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

She bit her lip, unwilling to continue to allow him to dissect her so easily. "Not too great," she admitted truthfully. "But I'm hanging in there."

The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly as he pulled her closer to himself, disregarding Nikolai's glare, and pressed a kiss to the top of her ash blonde head. "Keep fighting, Ara."

The door suddenly slid open, and a dark-haired head stuck in. "Oh, sorry -- am I interrupting something?"

"My Lord," Nikolai acknowledged Tom through gritted teeth, knowing fully well that his master was rather oblivious to others' emotions. His sister was already so fragile after their dad, but now... the tiniest things could set her off. He felt as if he were constantly walking on eggshells around her -- although, a tiny part of his head reminded him, he wasn't faring any better. "I think we'd prefer to be left alone for the next few weeks or so."