Monkeys Fighting Badgers

The Moon is Made of Cheese

"What the hell happened here, Sheriff?" asked Deputy Smithers. He removed his hat and scratched his thinning brown hair.
"Well, according to Joe's wife, Meriam, it was an animal attack."
Deputy Smithers eyed the scene with disbelief. "And what kind of animal did she say did this?"
He stared at the Sheriff, who made several attempts to respond, but just couldn't find the right words. "Why don't you take a look around and tell me what you think his wife said."
Smithers swallowed hard. "Okay." He bent down over the body of the farmer and inspected his wound. "It's weird. My first instinct is to assume wolf or even a large cat, but there's no claw marks and it doesn't look like fangs did this. The chunk taken out of his neck looks like it was done by blunt teeth. Did the wife actually see the animal?"
The Sheriff was still struggling with the answers he received. "She swears she did. Says the animal looked at her before it took off out the front door."
"What's all this white liquid?" Smithers asked.
The Sheriff grabbed him by the arm. "Why don't we go outside and I'll explain."
The two moved between the other officers, several of which were taking pictures of the crime scene or quarantining individual bits of evidence.
"What's going on Sheriff? What did this?"
"I'll put it this way. Meriam said after the attack, the "animal" ran toward the pasture, stopped directly in front of the moon and um--moo'd."
"Moo'd, sir?."
The Sheriff nodded grimly.
"What you're telling me is a...."
The Sheriff nodded again. "A were-cow, to be specific."
"A were-cow."
"Yup. She said a cow that walked on two legs broke through the door, took a bite out of her husband's neck, sprayed milk all over the place, then ran off to moo at the moon, before it disappeared into the woods."
Deputy Smithers mimicked the Sheriff's earlier attempts at forming a sentence.
"We're going with wolf," the Sheriff said.
"Wolf sounds good to me."
They nodded agreement before stepping back inside.