Mine [Rilaya]

Twenty-Two -- Losing Control.

(What I'm listening to: The Divine Zero -- Pierce The Veil)

~ JM/SS/CW

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Lucas hung himself three days after our talk.

But before he did, he gave Suzy Baker quite the beating -- he was never insanely violent, and seemed to avoid hurting girls, but Suzy appeared at Topanga's the day after looking like she was hit by a truck. Apparently Lucas blamed her for Riley's death just as much as he blamed himself.

"Farkle? Did you hear about Lucas...?"

Farkle sighs, looking up at me. But instead of answering the question, he says something that catches me off guard. "You look like your entire world is crashing down around you. I can see it in your eyes."

I feel like my entire world is crashing down around me. "Everything is spiraling out of control, Farkle. It's just one thing after another. I can't catch a break."

"Maya, don't --"

"You don't understand. Every time I think I'm actually, finally happy, something else happens. And all that happiness I thought I had comes crashing down." There are tears threatening to pour out of my eyes, and I just stare at Farkle, who stares right back.

He doesn't say anything, so I do. "I should go."

Without so much as a goodbye, I walk away, leaving him standing alone.

The first place I go after talking to Farkle is the cemetery, straight to Riley's gravestone. "Riley, what do I do? I'm so lost, I don't know what to do..." As I start to cry, a gust of wind blows through, knocking something off of the top of the gravestone.

Curious, I pick it up, and what I recognize it as makes me gasp -- Riley's bracelet. The one that Suzy Baker stole from her two years ago.

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Fun fact: One of my friends informed me that she's proud of me because I've been eating a lot more than I was last year. It's not that I'm not still insecure about my weight/looks/etc., I just try my best to ignore the feeling.