Chim- Sticks and stones

Chapter 5

Kim stared gobsmacked as she flicked her eyes open, her hospital room suddenly looked like a florist. Every inch of it was covered with bouquets of flowers. Cheryl she thought to herself, well at least she is trying but she is going to have to do way more than get her sent loads of flowers Kim continued with her thoughts as she glanced around the room. A doctor entered her room and took in the scene around her; ‘Somebody loves you’ he smiled gently, Kim just glanced up, a small smile playing on her lips, ‘yeah, so I've been told’ was her simple reply. He continued to write stuff down on his chart, ‘so, we are going to give you some anti-depressants and then you can leave but we will need to know that you’ve got somewhere stable to stay’ the doctor explained. Kim glanced around at the scene once more before taking a deep breath and replying, ‘you know what, I think I've got somewhere to stay, Cheryl offered me a room’ she smiled gently.

Kim too her mobile off the bedside cabinet and looked at the screen, once again she had a few messages but none of them were from her family, all of them were from Cheryl. Maybe she did mean what she said, maybe she did really love her, Kim just didn’t want to forgive her too quickly, only time would tell. One thing was for sure, Cheryl had always had a hold of Kim, maybe there was more too it than just infatuation, maybe she loved her back. After all they do say that you always hurt the ones you love and Cheryl had seriously hurt her but maybe that’s her reason. Kim collapsed her head back onto her pillow, she had so many thoughts running through her head and she didn’t know what to do with them all. She flicked through the texts and continued to think.

Kim, I love you, please believe me. Lots of Love Cheryl

Kimba, I’m sorry I haven't been able to show it but I really do love you, C

I vow to prove to you how much I really do truly love you, Cheryl

I am so sorry for everything Kim, I will change, I promise, Love C

I love you, the offer of a place to stay is still open, forever and always! Love Chez

All of the texts read similar stuff, she had to honour Cheryl for trying but it would take more than that to get her to trust and forgive her. Suddenly she noticed her door being pushed open, to her surprise Nadine appeared, ‘w-w-what do you want’ Kim stammered. Nadine smiled slightly before edging closer to Kim’s bed. ‘Can I sit down’ she asked quietly, Kim just nodded before Nadine sat herself on the chair beside her bed. ‘What are you doing here Nadine’ Kim asked again, Nadine took a deep breath and bowed her head before returning her gaze to look straight at Kim. ‘ya know, I was like you once, I know what its like to feel like you are alone and have no one, to have no friends, to be different’ she spoke quietly. ‘I am so sorry Kim, but Cheryl is our leader and we follow her, I was scared to turn my back on her, without her, I'm nothing’ she mumbled.

Kim raised her eyes at Nadine, ‘in truth you are all just scared of something that you have to make other people’s lives a misery’ Kim spat, Nadine just nodded, ‘I know, So… Cheryl told me about you and her, that was a bit of a shock, I mean Cheryl’s always been a guy magnet’ Nadine giggled. Kim rolled my eyes, ‘how do you think I felt?’ she almost screamed, Nadine nodded, ‘I know Kim, I am so sorry. I had no idea that Cheryl even swung that way, ya know? I definitely wouldn’t have placed her with you but whatever makes her happy. She does love you, I can tell. I've been her best friend since I was 11 and I know when she is lying, she is definitely telling the truth about that! She is willing to try if you’ll let her’ Nadine smiled at Kim as she raised her eyes to meet hers. As shocked as she was at Nadines surprise visit, she actually did believe her. ‘You don’t have to forgive her straight away Kim but at least give her a chance, she is truly sorry’ Nadine explained. Kim nodded, ‘I know but she has done so much damage, its not going to be that simple and what if she gets so p!ssed off that I can’t forgive her straight away that she starts with the bad attitude again’ Kim cried, ‘I honestly think she seriously means it this time babe’ Nadine smiled. Kim just nodded, ‘thanks Nadine’ she smiled. ‘I better go, Cheryl will be here soon and she doesn’t know I'm here so shush’ Nadine grinned before squeezing Kim’s hand and disappearing back through the door.

Kimberley was laying in her hospital bed with her eyes shut although she was awake. She heard the door creep open and felt someone creep over to the bed and sit down next to her. ‘Kimba, I am so sorry, I love you, ok? I know its taken me way too long to realise it and I know I haven't given you reason to believe me’ Cheryl whispered, still unaware that Kimberley was very much awake. ‘That day, I found out you were here, I was so shocked, I didn’t know what to do. Mum had to calm me down, I told her, ya know? I told her that day almost a week ago about us and that I was in love with you. She doesn’t care, just so you know! She always liked you, if only she knew how I treated you, she would have been so shocked, I am so sorry Kimba. I want you to believe me, I want you to trust me, I want you to forgive me’ Cheryl muttered over and over again as a tear dropped onto Kim’s hand. Kim kept her eyes closed and continued to pretend to be asleep. Cheryl leant forward and placed her lips lightly against Kim’s, leaving them to lightly tingle as an after effect.

Kim ran through her front door and up the stairs before slamming into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She had all these thoughts running through her head. She didn’t know how to control them, she had just had the worst day at school, the taunts had just got worst, especially now after the rumours that she sexually assaulted the most popular girl at school. She remembers seeing Cheryl’s face there taunting her, calling her names, shouting crap at her, she just wished there was a way out, a way to get away from Cheryl Ann Tweedy where she didn’t have to suffer anymore. She couldn’t get her face out of her head. She started pulling at her hair as she screamed and cried before chucking herself on her bed. She found herself struggling to breath and she just couldn’t stop the tears. She saw the scissors on the side and picked them up, twirling them between her fingers.

The first cut hurt just a little but after a while she couldn’t feel anything anymore, she kept slicing her skin with the blade, she felt the blood trickle down her arm but she didn’t care. Maybe this would give her the way out that she wanted, that she needed. She barely felt the blade as it cut once again. She just continued to cut as her breathing got heavier and her tears continued to fall. Eventually she allowed herself to put the scissors away and fall asleep whilst clutching her arm, allowing the bullying nightmares to consume her once again.