"I close my eyes and feelings flood through my veins, my tears fall creating wounds on my skin, bleeding the pain of this impossible love, because when I scream your name there is no answer, only the silence of the waves and the echo of my voice. For the many wounds caused by these tears I cry endlessly to show you that I loved you, I love you and will always love you."
I find myself thinking more and more about her. How a year ago I could... I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to lose anyone anymore. Everyone leaves me... Everyone breaks me, everyone I've ever trusted. I want to bleed the memory out, I want it all to stop, I want to stop... My tears mean nothing... Just as everything that I do... It's all vanity, vanishing like my will to stay. How much longer can I keep up the act that I'm 'happy'... Why does it hurt so much before the numbness consumes me, bringing me dreamless sleep. I don't want to do anything anymore. And it's not because I'm lazy but that it won't do anything. She's gone and every time I open my eyes it all fades. So here I am sitting in the dark listening to the bunny the bear. Trying to calm my tormented mind, because I can't get rid of the paranoid feeling, the tears won't stop and I'm all alone, cold... It's getting harder to breathe because the thought is asphyxiating me. It's all my fault... I can't give enough, it's all my fault.
YOU ARE READING
To all that has befallen me
Non-Fictionstory of a teen with various disorders, my life story, rambling and suicidal thoughts. Trigger warnings.
