Dearest Diary

Chew Them Out

Dude,

People need to back the fuck off.

So seriously. Okay, so this morning was fine, walked with Edd, Eddy didn't show, but that's not the big deal. Like, I'd tell you more, but I'm still fucking seething just thinking about it.

Got to my locker this morning. Some fuckwad put gum on the God-damn lock. Fucking hell! Like, seriously? Who the fuck does that? Then I opened my locker after fucking with the disgusting stuff, was still damn wet, there was this note. And guess what it said? I have the stupid thing right here, I plan to fucking burn it later, just...UGH. It's their handwriting. I'm trying my best not to flip shit and rip it up, flush it down the damn toilet, but...I just, I dunno. I should probably keep it, if I need it later. Just for proof of this shit.

So yeah...

"I heard you like swapping spit with other guys, so here's some for you!"

Yeah. That's what it said. If you were here, I'd -let- you smash their face in, whoever it was. I have guesses, but what the fuck am I supposed to do? Tell a teacher? Yeah, cuz that'll go over well. "Hey, some kid put this note in my locker and stuck gum on my lock." Useless to fucking bother saying when I don't know who did it.

Fucking hell.

I think Edd picked up that I was pissed, but didn't say anything. Which was good, cuz I didn't want the whole cafeteria seeing me blow up. I wasn't gonna let them know this did anything to me. Let them get fucking bored. I'm not giving them shit.

By the time I got home, I was just done. I'd spent the whole day trying to figure out who it was, but I still had no damn clue. I told Nazz. She said she'd try to figure it out, but I don't think she can. It's just fucked, man.

So I got home, took a shower, hopped on my bike, and headed over to Double D's. Gave him a call, and got ready to head off. Because I just couldn't handle anything at that point. I just wanted to go, leave all this shit...but I didn't want to do it alone, you know? I can sit alone in my damn house. And the moment he stepped outside, I knew I was right to call him. This guy, he got me. Looked at me, almost through me, but it's like he knew what I was going through, even if he had no idea. So I just grabbed him and kissed him, because that's all I could do at that point. And it helped, a little.

I took him out to the Point. I guess that's what I'll call it, you know, the first place I took him, the place that...yeah, you know, I know you do. Sat down at the edge, and he sat next to me. Actually, he put his head on my shoulder, surprised the crap out of me. Normally -I- make the first move. But either way, I wasn't gonna complain. It was nice, that he was there next to me.

He tried asking what was wrong, but...I didn't want to tell him. It's stupid, it's a fucking lie to keep it all from him, but, like, I don't want him worrying about me. Let him think it's all stupid words, even if more happens. Just let him be safe, I guess is what I was thinking. I don't want this stuff coming after him. I can take it. I don't know if he can...I mean, he's not weak, but...I want this on me.

But I did ask him to do something. Cuz you know how much I trust the kid...fuck, I don't think I trust anyone more. I mean you, yeah, but you're harmless. Ha, yeah, I said it.

I asked him to just say 'fuck em', to tell me they can all fuck off, because if he said it, I could believe it. I needed to hear it from him, even if he didn't know what happened, I just wanted to hear him say it, so bad. So he did. And he said some really smart stuff too, I wish I could remember his wording, but I'd probably screw it up. You remember how he talks, I can't do it justice.

Just sat with him for a while and calmed down. I loved every damn minute of it, but I knew my dad was gonna be making dinner tonight, so we had to head off. And, my luck, he was -waiting- for me. Outside. You know, with the garage door open. Called Edd my 'Boy Toy', which pissed me off. I just wanted to be with Edd, fuck everyone else, fuck life, just let us be...but I couldn't exactly tell him that. You know Pops, he wouldn't have heard it.

So he kinda said hello to Edd, told him to call him 'Greg'...weird to hear him called anything else than Pops or dad, but whatever. And he invited him to dinner, and went back in the house. Me and D were outside, and I guess he thought I was upset with my dad or something. I mean, I was, but...I was just pissed with everything. All of this. All the damn people who can't let me just be fucking happy, but...ugh. I mean, my dad acts like he gets it, but how am I supposed to know? He'd never tell me what he's really thinking. It's stressful.

Edd called me a 'worry-wart'. The look on his face was precious. I...almost slipped. Caught my tongue. Wasn't gonna say something like that then. Not when my dad could burst in, not when I was stressed and pissed. It's...so damn true, but I'm not gonna say it yet. I think he'll be alright with it, but I want to say it at the right time. I can't screw this up. I screw -way- too much up, Nat.

So Pops didn't bug him at dinner. He was pretty normal, which was good. Talked about his day at the Jawbreaker Factory, I talked about the team, and it was all good. Then Pops said something about him being allowed back anytime, and I was just thinking that he had no choice in the damn matter. My boyfriend, my rules, he wouldn't know shit about it anyways. But whatever.

He had to go...he had a costume to make. Yeah, weird, I know, but I guess he is really good at that stuff. I remember a lot of it from when we were kids, just didn't realize he did so much himself. He was making Ed's costume. I still had my costume from last year, you know, the vampire. Edd didn't have shit, but I have an idea. You're gonna love it. You can see tomorrow, I bet you'll do your stupid eye waggle thing. Haha, well, I'll see you then, man.

And curse those fuckheads with the gum for me, alright? I know you got friends into Voodoo. You have friends into fucking everything. Make it happen!

Seeya later dude!

Kev