Let's Play A Game. (#Wattys2017)

He loves her, He loves her not.

Ah. Thanksgiving weekend. Where people take to Facebook and other forms of social media to talk about just how grateful they are for everything and everyone. All I am saying, is that if you need a holiday and a status update to tell people what you are thankful for, then maybe you arent thankful nearly enough throughout the year. 

It has been a couple weeks since Damian took me to the hospital to meet his sister that is in a coma and he answered all my questions. In hindsight, my questions were sucky and probably not the best, but they gave me the answers that I needed and I think that is really all I can ask for at this moment in time. 

So, I now know that Sophie was beaten by an unknown assailant and put into a coma. And that that man also tried to suffocate Damian and that is why he freaked out and choked me so long ago. I guess it makes since, but that still didnt make it completely right. 

I still hate him, though. I dont trust him, I dont like him, I really just try to avoid breathing the same air as him at any and all costs. I have been trying to find myself for the past few weeks after I found out that everything was just a bet, but it has been hard. My brain keeps reminding me that he was the guy that used me and played me, but my heart (no matter how cliche it sounds) keeps reminding me that he is also the guy that loves his sister more than life, and hes the one that came and comforted me for six hours during a storm. I am still super confused every time i am around him but I have kept myself a mask of perfect calm. 

He hasnt tried to talk to me after he dropped me off at my house after the little one on one we had at the hospital, and I cant decide if I am okay with that or not. I shouldnt want him to talk to me right? I mean, he was a dickbag and a man whore. I should not care. 

Curse this thing in my chest keeping the blood pumping through my veins. 

Its Tuesday, and we only have one more day before Thanksgiving break. Where everyone spends a day surrounded by their family, eating and having an awesome time, while I will be spending my first thanksgiving without my parents alone. At home, held up in room, trying not to think about how I am all alone on a day that should be filled with joy. 

Im sitting on the hood of my rental car that I am still driving. Apparently, it takes a really damn long time to fix a car with paint splattered EVERYWHERE. If I am lucky, I will have it back before winter break. But, even though it is supposed to be really cold outside, it is actually really nice, so while I am waiting for the parking lot to empty after school, I am sitting on my car, reading. 

"Hey Gwyn," the voice is soft and smooth, and when I look up, I can see Alex standing a few feet away from my car, giving me a once over. He hasnt said a word to me since that day at Damian's, but I do catch him looking at me every once in a while. A guilty look on his face. 

He did call me a freak with a big mouth and an even bigger attitude. I am not just going to forget that. 

"What do you need?" I take a quick glance to see if douche bag is with him, but I spot Damian at his bike, talking to Michael. I can feel myself relax a minuscule amount but I cant figure out why. 

"I just wanted to say sorry for everything. For the shit with Damian. For being rude and saying all that shit about you. For..." he trails off and I just look at him for a second. 

"For getting really pissed about me bringing up Sophie," he flinches at the name, but I dont think he ever realized that he did it. Maybe it is just a force of habit. Weird. 

"Yea, for that too. I just wanted to let you know that I was sorry, and that I know that I was a complete and utter dick," he looks up at me with puppy dog eyes and I suddenly let my anger slip away. I mean, he kept the bet from me, but he is Damian's best friend not mine. He said some shit about me, but its not like he was wrong. 

He turns to walk away, but I call him back to me, wanting to ask one more question. He turns back to me with raised eyes and I silently pray that he is not about to cuss me out again after asking this question. 

"Does Damian know that you are in love with his sister?" I ask quietly and by the way that Alex just looks at me with a blank stare, I start to believe that he hasnt heard me, but just as I am about to repeat myself, his face drains of any and all color before averting his gaze away from me. 

"What would make you think something like that? Damian and I have been friends for years. She is sixteen and like, two years younger than me. Besides, she is my best friends sister. I could never do that," he is rambling on and on, but I can tell that the tips of his cheeks are pink. 

"Youre avoiding the question Alex," I smirk at him, and his head snaps up to look at me. Yup. He is definitely blushing. "I am going to take that face as a 'No, Gwyn. My best friend does not know that I am completely and utterly in love with his baby sister, and if you even think about telling him, I am going to pummel your face with a rock,' and to that, I say I will not tell him," Alex just gives a nervous smile and looks down at his shoes that have apparently become very interesting. 

"How do you know that I love Sophie?" the way he says her name gives me all the confirmation that I need. He says it like he breathes it. Like just the taste of her name on his tongue is enough to keep him hydrated in the desert. To keep him full even on the brink of starvation. To keep his lungs full even when every last drop of oxygen has been knocked out. 

He says it like she is the best thing to ever grace the planet, and I cant help but feel jealous. Why cant I have a love like that. A guy that says my name like it is the only thing keeping him alive. 

"You got so defensive when I brought her up the other day. There is protecting a girl because she is your best friends sister, and then there is protecting a girl because she is your everything, and I think you can figure out which category you fell into," I close my book and set it down on the car hood, sliding my feet over to the edge to hang off the side. I peek around Alex to see Damian looking at us, but he doesnt show any sign of coming over. 

Good. 

"Well, if it is so obvious, I am wondering how Damian hasnt noticed it yet," 

"Damian isnt the sharpest tool in the shed," I point out, looking down at my phone for the time. I have a therapy session in half an hour and if i dont leave now, I am going to be late. "I gotta go, but thanks for apologizing," I say and he nods, beginning to turn away. I grab my bag off the hood and throw it into the backseat. 

Then something hits me. 

"Did you ever tell her how you feel, Alex," I say to his retreating figure and he just stops and looks back at me. 

"No. I was going to tell her on her seventeenth birthday, but someone took her from me the night beforehand. I am still waiting for the chance," he turns around and walks away and I can feel the tears start to pool in my eyes. Poor guy. 

I get into my car and speed off towards the new therapist's office, thinking about Alex and Sophie the entire time. 

I really hope he gets the chance to tell her how he feels one day. 

(OH MY FLIPPING GOD I AM SO SORRY!!!! IT HAS BEEN A MONTH SINCE I UPDATED AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. I WAS SICK AND THEN FINALS CAME UP AND UGH!! I PROMISE I WILL UPDATE A SHIT TON OVER WINTER BREAK. I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING A LOT OF CHAPTERS BETWEEN ALEX AND GWYN BUT I LIKE HAVING A BREAK FROM DAMIAN AND GWYN. I KNOW IT IS NOT THE BEST CHAPTER BUT I NEEDED TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING!!  I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!)